For a while now we couldn’t quite put our finger on what was missing. But when news emerged yesterday Miss Dannii Minogue was bursting back into our lives for her first UK shows in almost a decade, we realised we’d been suffering from a vitamin D deficiency for far too long. D for Dannii, that is.
No sooner had the news broken than the Attitude team were throwing shapes around the office to Minogue minor’s criminally underrated back catalogue, before finally getting around to putting together this joyous list of Dannii’s best bits…
Success (1990, No. 11)
You can barely recognize our Dannii in this noisy R&B funkfest! The razor sharp cheekbones are yet to appear, but she still looks gorge in a pop-goth kinda way as she bumps and grinds around like an aerobics instructor from the Bronx. This tune had a much harder sound than that of sister Kylie, who at the time was still bouncing around to Better The Devil You Know and What Do I Have to Do.
Baby Love (1991, No. 14)
Silk Hurley remixes were all the rage back in 1991 and Dannii, with an ear for what was hot, snapped him up to twiddle some knobs on this fab Italo house ’80s cover. Still sporting raven black locks (scraped back one minute, tousled the next), she sexes it up big time, with a trio of dancers who seem to have a rather irritating habit of rubbing their butts in Dannii’s face. Poor love.
Jump to the Beat (1991, No. 8)
Woo-hoo! This ’90s fun-fest is one helluva dancefloor filler. With its clubby piano backing track, this crusty old ’70s disco anthem is given a fresh lease of life that saw Dannii smash into the UK Top 10! Yay! The vid’s a riot, complete with gymnasts, a trumpeter dressed as Elvis and the obligatory rapper spitting out rhymes like he just don’t care. Never has an orange overcoat atop a baggy red halter neck top looked so fashion-forward.
Show You The Way To Go (1992, No. 30)
Dannii slows things down a bit on this sexy R&B reworking of an old Jackson 5 tune. It’s a slinky number, but apparently too much so, as her fans just couldn’t work out how to slut drop to it and only sent it to the lower reaches of the top 40. Shame, as it’s wonderful, in an early ’90s kinda way!
This Is It (1993, No. 10)
Newly trimmed down and super sassy, Dannii ran a bleach streak through her barnet, chucked on a Carmen Miranda bra top and wrap around skirt and star-jumped around a beach like a deranged six-year-old. Watch out for a cameo from her then-husband (and now occasional Hollywood star Julian McMahon) who spends most of his time sniffing her neck and looking embarrassed in an acid lime green blouse.
Get Into You (1993, No. 36)
Although this was a bit of a pop flop for Dannii, the growling R&B tune packs a punch. Clad in a tight white top and blue jeans, Dannii looks her most pared down and stylish. Even her dance routines aren’t as crazy as in previous videos, although she does dare to play air guitar at one point – before some long-haired larakin kicks off his lengthy electric guitar solo (on a Minogue track of all things!)
All I Wanna Do (1997, No. 4)
Dannii gets sexy, y’all. With her luscious black locks given a peroxide makeover, and her bosoms a fresh lick of paint, she oozes her way through this technicoloured saucefest, spilling out of her dress as she drapes across a bed, wearing leathers on a moped, seranading a couple of forgetful goldfish and stroking her surprisingly furry pussy in an armchair! All while some dubious man in the dark sits behind his computer doing whatever lonely boys do when the lights go out.
Everything I Wanted (1997, No. 15)
This breakbeaty kinda track from her Girl album is a bit more subdued than you’d expect from La Minogue – but it’s still a corker. The vid is well classy like, as it’s all shot in black in white and she looks supersexy in two plaited pigtails.
Disrememberance (1998, No. 21)
Bathed in shadow, Dannii bangs out this anthemic mid-90s dance joy from her brilliant Girl album! It’s all very Alejandro-era Gaga as a bunch of dancers splish-splash around her and keep an eye out for Fame Academy’s choreographer Kevin Adams looking pretty scary as he slides up and down a pole.
Put the Needle on It (2002, No. 7)
Early noughties Dannii equalled bad girl Dannii. Sporting a new cropped do and getting her face splashed around the tabloids for alleged sapphic trysts with female strippers, she made a musical comeback in late 2002 with this sexually-charged, innuendo-laden disco number.
I Begin To Wonder (2003, No. 2)
Dannii gives great strut in the vid to this dance anthem. With her lush locks back to black, she’d never looked so good, as the off-camera wind machine gave her a blow job many of her fans would kill for. When she’s not strutting toward the camera like an Amsterdam lady of the night, she’s looking gorge in a flimsy red dress whilst clutching a pair giant scissors and drying her pits with a hand dryer that looks very much like the one from The Edge Bar on Soho Square. Sensational!
You Won’t Forget About Me (2004, No. 7)
In the vid for this dance anthem, Dannii has a whale of a time as she and some gal pals get ready for a date, downing champers, bopping to her own songs and snogging a dark-haired hunk. Sounds like a Saturday night for us. Except, Danni, you’d never catch us spilling a drop of bubbly on the floor like you do in this. Although, we can tell you were only acting, you clever thesp you.
Perfection (2005, No. 11)
The mid-noughties saw Dannii plundering loads of ’70s disco hits for inspiration. This one samples Turn The Beat Around and is so frantic, those with shortness of breath should be advised to listen with caution. We can’t wait to clap our eyes on Dannii when she hits these shores next month, and we are on our knees praying that her UK performances will be as sensational as her Mardi Gras party earlier this year in Sydney…