How to avoid looking like a bit of a numpty in 2014
Robin Darke shares a few tips on how to avoid fashion disasters this year... teletubbiesonesieNo onesies in public. Yes, it’s cute when you post pictures of you and your boyfriend wearing matching onesies on Christmas Day, but when this habit spills over into the outside world, it’s another story entirely. Wearing a onesie in public is basically the same as popping to Tesco in your slippers and dressing gown, and frankly, it's all a bit meltdown-era Britney. The same goes for Uggs: get some proper boots and rub the skin off your toes like the rest of us. Find some T-shirts that fit. Admittedly looking at gentlemen’s pecs is incredibly appealing; in fact, it’s something that we would recommend wholeheartedly. But wearing a T-shirt that reaches down to your navel leaves nothing to the imagination. It's best to keep something behind closed doors - namely, your nipples. Ditch the top knot. Obviously men’s fashion sometimes takes its lead from women's - any fool will tell you that. This doesn't mean you should rip off every womenswear trend wholesale. For example, Rough Copy on The X Factor didn't really pull off those skirts. And lots of us chaps don't look quite right with a top knot. Actually, we look like we have a teeny-tiny Heather Small pineapple on our head, which shouldn't make any of us feel proud. Pick your fashion trends carefully. You don’t have to embrace every single trend that springs up. If, like me, you have the body of John Prescott, and the temperament of John Prescott straight after he got egged, cladding yourself in prints like you're the third member of Rizzle Kicks isn't going to be a good look. Pick and choose which trends you try out, and don’t forget that all shops have CCTV. If you strut out of the changing rooms in a leopard-print T-shirt and it looks like Bet Lynch’s living room exploded on you, the security team are going to be laughing from now until home time. Babes, take it easy with the brand names. We all have our favourite brands, but not every item of clothing we wear has to be emblazoned with its name. For example, if you step out with 16 A&F logos about your person, you run the risk of looking like the star of a second-rate US reality show. Follow the awesome Robin Darke on Twitter @robin_darke