In just a few days - on July 19, to be exact - Amy Heckerling's iconic teen comedy Clueless turns 20 years young. Two decades on, the film's as brilliantly funny as ever, and we thought we'd sneak in before the inevitable avalanche of think pieces, listicles and the like with this very important piece of #journalism.
Considering Alicia Silverstone's heroine Cher spends the film searching for a suitor to lose her virginity to, Clueless has a particularly strong focus on her super-cute male castmates- among them stepbrother Josh, played by Hollywood A-lister in waiting Paul Rudd.
Without further ado, we present you: The definitive ranking of Clueless Baldwins. Well, we say 'definitive', but we know this is going to be a controversial list - feel free to give us your own personal ranking. Heck, maybe you're pissed we left Cher's Dad Melvin (Dan Hedaya) off the list - more power to ya, we ain't judging.
The guy who checks on poor Tai after she falls down the stairs (25 seconds into the clip below). Although he only has one line - "Wow, are you OK? That looked really bad" - he's stayed in our hearts for the ensuing 20 years. After all, aren't we all just looking for a guy to check on our well-being after we go hurtling down a flight of stairs? However, his position at the bottom of our list proves one thing: NICE GUYS FINISH LAST.
5. Elton (Jeremy Sisto)
Ugh, Elton. Snotty, entitled, privileged, ALWAYS losing his Cranberries CDs, terrible at Suck N' Blow and with foot problems that require the urgent attention of the school nurse. And yet... we still would. UGH.
Cher's potential suitor-turned-gay best friend, Christian is a suave throwback to a bygone era - yes, he really did think the death of Sammy Davis Jr. left an opening in the Rat Pack. He was also present when Cher introduced the term 'Monet' into the pop-cultural lexicon - someone who looks good from far but far from good. Ambular = total Monet. Christian = not a Monet.
3. Murray (Donald Faison)
One half of the most tempestuous big screen relationship since Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton, Murray has big pants and an even bigger vocabulary. The only reason he didn't place top two in our list: He's really no help at all if you accidentally get on the freeway.
2. Josh (Paul Rudd)
Yep, second place - although it was a close call. This was the film that started Paul Rudd's career, and it's not hard to see why: just as Cher slowly falls for her ex-stepbrother over the course of the film, so too do we, the viewers, as he gradually transforms from dweeby older brother type to certified dreamboat. You've gotta love a guy who can lure Marky Mark away from his busy pants-dropping schedule to attend a tree-planting ceremony.
1.Travis (Breckin Meyer)
Surprise winner alert! Paul Rudd might be the popular choice, but there's just something heart-melting about Breckin Meyer in Clueless. Travis was just a total dreamboat: a slacker/stoner/skateboarder type with a positive attitude and a caring nature who stole Tai's heart. COME AT US, TRAVIS:
Look, lets be real here: Even though our cosmetic surgeon has advised us against any activities where balls fly at our nose, we'd still be happy with any of the boys in that top five.