Detox says Madonna's Ray of Light album freed her of suicidal feelings: 'My saving grace'

"An ethereal vacation from a difficult time"


Words: Jamie Tabberer; picture: Adam Ouahmane/Maverick

Detox has said Madonna's seminal album Ray of Light helped save her from suicidal feelings upon its release in 1998.

Madge's critically-acclaimed seventh album contains hits like 'Frozen', 'Nothing Really Matters' and the title track of the same name.

Drag icon Detox, who shot to fame on the fifth season of RuPaul's Drag Race, was just 12 years old when the LP came out.

"I'm going to cry"

Speaking on The Things That Made Me Queer, the new podcast from RPDR UK's Crystal, the All Stars runner up said: "When I talk about Ray of Light, I contribute it to saving my life.

"It came out in 1998, I was 12 years old, just moved from Arizona to North Carolina... it was the first time I had experienced people being really bigoted, and racist, and being shamed for being a young closeted queer boy being called a faggot, being ridiculed not only by students but teachers, and adults for being effeminate.

"At 12 years old, I was very depressed, very suicidal, not in a good headspace. When this album came out I immersed myself in it, it was my saving grace."

Detox, whose own songs include 'Chow Down' and 'I Like It Like That', continued: "I had a little nook in the house we were renting, with a little seat in the window and I remember putting all my pillows in the window - I'm going to cry - and sitting there for hours with that album on repeat thinking of a life beyond that. 

"It was an ethereal vacation from that difficult time."

If you need support, try one of the below helplines:

LGBT Switchboard: the UK’s longest running advice and support switchboard for LGBTQs. Call on 0300-330 0630 or visit switchboard.lgbt.

The Trevor Project: crisis intervention and suicide prevention. Call on 1-866-488-7386 or visit thetrevorproject.org.