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Joe Lycett’s spoof Sue Gray report fuelled by ‘anger’ over friend’s death

The comedian appears to have caused some panic around Westminster with his fake summary of Sue Gray's report into #Partygate

By Alastair James

Words: Alastair James; pictures: Instagram/@joelycett

Comedian Joe Lycett is basically saying ‘IDGAF’ after apparently causing a mild panic in the halls of 10 Downing Street and Westminster earlier this week with his parody leak from the eagerly-awaited Sue Gray report into #Partygate.

Posting the parody yesterday (Thursday (27 January) the comedian, who’s bisexual, mocked up a summary of his own report, which started with a serious sounding statement – “A culture of Covid-19 regulation rule breaking At Number 10 Downing Street”.

It then goes on to mention games such as “pass the a***hole” being played and WhatsApp groups like “Down It Street”. Ministers were also said to have danced to ‘Pure & Simple’ by Hear’Say, which we only wish were true. 

“It feels absolutely fucking fantastic”

 
 
 
View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Joe Lycett (@joelycett)

The parody was hilariously taken as an actual leak of Sue Gray’s delayed report, which was confirmed by someone who apparently works for a Cabinet minister, who notified Joe of the panic he had caused. 

In a series of messages from what Joe says is a verified source, the person says: “U had MP staff literally running around panicking from what it said” and praising the comedian’s “legendary work”. We also applaud you, Joe Lycett. 

 
 
 
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A post shared by Joe Lycett (@joelycett)

Following the pick up the hilarity got in the press Joe has posted a statement on his social media explaining why he doesn’t care much and actually says, “it feels absolutely fucking fantastic”.

Reflecting on an “odd couple of days,” which includes catfishing the government Joe explains that he sometimes writes comedy “as a way of using anger.”

Mentioning his previous pranks including letters about a parking fine, changing his name to Hugo Boss and now the fake Sue Gray report he says they’ve all been done because he’s angry.

He then goes on to explain the serious reason behind the prank: the fact he followed the national rules in place in the early stages of lockdown in 2020 when one of his best friends died from cancer. Meanwhile, others were partying.

This friend, Joe says, had been with him throughout his career from “the smallest pub gigs all the way up to the Apollo and when I was first on Graham Norton.”

Joe, who had even been a part-time carer for his friend, watched his friend fade over months before dying at the start of lockdown. He laments that he wasn’t there for his friend because he was following the rules.

 
 
 
View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Joe Lycett (@joelycett)

He goes on to say that they held a “tiny insufficient funeral” due to the rules in place and that “I drove his kids away from that funeral back to Birmingham without any sort of wake, because we were following the rules.

“It felt unnatural and cruel and almost silly, but we did it because we followed the rules. So I suppose like thousands of others with their own stories, I’m angry about that,” he continues.

He lambasts the current Tory government as being about “power and little else,” who “torch traditions and institutions with ease if it helps them retain their grip.”

“To hell with my dead friend, they think, and all your dead friends and dead relatives. You followed the rules and we didn’t but we’re in power and that’s all that matters so spin on it,” he writes.

“So I get angry and I write a few jokes about Sue Gray’s report, a report which will probably change nothing and we’ll all be here again in the not too distant future, in some other scandal, with some other liars.

“But for now you might wonder how it feels to have been described in the papers as having caused these people ‘chaos’ and ‘mayhem’ and ‘mass panic’ because of a few jokes. Let me be clear: it feels absolutely fucking fantastic.”

You tell them Joe!

The Attitude February issue is out now. Get your copy here