Let's talk about gay sex and drugs

2015-02-06
cefadaa5e9c3825ac2d1dffa38306bddWriter and performer Patrick Cash (pictured) writes for Attitude ahead of a London forum on LGBT attitudes to sex, love and drugs next week: Our beloved leader David Cameron ostensibly presided over the introduction of same-sex marriage without so much as the quibble of a Tory lip, because as straight rapper Macklemore tells us: ‘it’s all the same love’. But the introduction of LGBT+ sex and relationship education into schools? Oh boy, that silence is louder than all the thudding sound systems of Vauxhall. To the wider world, a liberal slathering of vaguely sexless ‘love’ really lubes up the gay cock and puts the straights in a more comfortable position for taking it: "No Margaret, they’re just like us really: they want to fall in love as well, honeymoon in Corfu through lastminute.com, have/adopt/bio-engineer children, and then watch their dreams waste away to the endless grey oblivion of the entrenched capitalism system.’ "Oh really, Nigel? Well yes, when you put it like that, it really makes them a lot more palatable." The love invoked here is that courtly, sacred love Shakespeare perennially had a stiff one for, ‘true love’. You know, where Snow White and Prince Charming share the kiss, get hitched, then she spends her days slaving over a hot cauldron so that he can grow a pot belly, but they still have a tremor of passion each Thursday evening on Nookie Night. Sharp-eyed readers may perceive that there is just the merest whiff of jaded cynicism in this writer’s own conception of everlasting love. Which is to be expected, because within the gay male community there are as many jutting angles on the plain of love as there are songs in existence with the word ‘love’ in the title: it’s not all the ‘same love’. And our love is intertwined with our sex. Maybe you have that one dream man who gives you that all-encompassing feeling that wordsmiths from Shakespeare to Macklemore have described; or perhaps you listen to Taylor Swift at home as you wait for his headless torso to pop up on Grindr. Of course, what you’ll more likely find in London before the guy with the cute smile who makes you laugh and feel warm inside, is an invitation to a chill-out. A bump of meph from a key is a lot easier to come over - pun intended - than a diamond on your ring finger. There’s been much written about how gay men’s drug use relates to gay sex, but how does the chase of hedonism relate to love? Are all gay drug users escaping from the lack of love in their lives? What about the happily married polyamorous slammers who throw their doors open to half of Stockwell easy on a Sunday morning? If you are a (single) drug user and you find love, would you automatically assume you'd stop drugs? At the next ‘Let’s Talk About Gay Sex & Drugs’, close to Valentine’s Day, we’ll be exploring the subject of love amongst the gay male community of London. Everyone is welcome, whether to speak or listen, and everyone who wants to speak gets five minutes on the mic. Plus, we’ve got four awesome featured speakers introducing the rounds with their personal take on the theme: Jose Vigers - Tattooist and artist, Jose speaks of what he’s discovered in his travels through the subcultures of both Berlin and London. LTGSD Nyash - credit Manu Valcarce Nyasha Paragon Langley (pictured, photo by Manu Valcarce) - Talented spoken word artist Nyash gives us his queer rhythms on love between the meph lines. Damien Killeen - An eloquent actor and writer, fresh from playing Helena in the Arcola Queer Collective’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Damien explores the very notion of gay love. Marc Thompson -  Coordinator for the Peer Mentor Project at Positively UK. Richard Perkins - An unsurpassed storyteller of wildly comic gay invention, rooted in emotional truth, Richard has become a treasured act on the spoken word scene! Because whether we believe in love or not, we’ve all got an opinion that’s worthy to be heard. Let’s Talk About Gay Sex & Drugs - Love is at Ku Klub, 30 Lisle Street, Chinatown, WC2H 7BA on Thursday 12th February from 6.30pm. Sign up for a slot to speak on the Facebook event, or at the venue. Free entry. - By Patrick Cash.