Whether you are a gay man who has met someone new on a uk dating site or are in a committed relationship, there are certain ‘ground rules.'
While most of the situations you will experience can be dealt with using common sense, there are still mistakes which could derail your happiness. Here are several to be aware of.
Differing levels of showing affection
A common mistake is to do with commitment; or rather, an imbalance between what the parties are seeking.
When one starts to become too clingy, bombarding the other with constant texts, or becoming too tactile at inappropriate moments, then the time has come to have a word with them.
On the other hand, not showing enough affection can be equally detrimental. So the question to be asked early on in the partnership is, how comfortable are you with having a partner who ‘clings'?
And if showing affection isn't their thing, do what extent does it bother you? There would be no harm in broaching the subject.
Not communicating enough
Never make assumptions about what your partner is thinking.
You may have so much in common, but this doesn't mean you'll be on the same wavelength about everything.
The default position should be to remain as open as possible about matters.
Rather than thinking your boyfriend will always get your point of view because you are sharing such a committed relationship, second-guessing is a big mistake.
For any relationship to be successful, gay or otherwise, one of the most important elements is communication.
You have to learn to open up to each other about every single aspect, no matter how trivial these concerns might seem.
It would be a mistake to remain within a gay relationship simply because it seems the most appropriate thing to do in terms of your state of mind.
Just because your boyfriend is fantastic in the sack, or lives in a flat with a wonderful view, that is no reason to ignore that niggling inner voice telling you there are other aspects of his behavior which are less commendable.
It might be you have a terrific time together on a superficial level, but when it comes to discussing serious issues, such as where you see you relationship in five years time, you just can't envisage him being there.
You are secretly aware the chemistry just doesn't exist.
Perhaps you inadvertently find your eyes straying towards other guys entering the bar when his back is turned because you realize he is merely ‘a one' and certainly not ‘the one.'
Again, you need to be honest in dealing with your emotions. Life is too short to be putting up with second best, and you are less likely to get connected with someone far more suitable while you appear to be ‘off limits.’
Not defining an open relationship
It's not uncommon for gay couples to broach the subject of keeping their relationship open.
There is nothing wrong with this setup; it is a state of affairs that can work in any situation, straight-sex or otherwise.
However, it would be a massive mistake if the partners agreed to an open relationship without first defining the parameters.
How often will you see these other people? Do you need to divulge anything about these encounters?
A crucial aspect is when you are establishing these boundaries, ensure your decisions are solely between you and your partner, never any of the ‘substitutes.'
Not spending time apart
A gay relationship will thrive if there's give and take.
To make the most out of what you have together, it is important to embrace one another's unique interests, but also give your partner the room to enjoy them.
Where this is particularly obvious is ensuring your other half has the space to socialize with their own friendship groups, whether that's people connected to a hobby or mates they had long before you started going out.
There is an old adage about absence making the heart grow fonder.
When you do spend time seeking your entertainment elsewhere, each reunion will be all the more satisfying.
For your gay relationship to prosper, just ensure you don't live in each other's pockets all the time.
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