Does Lady Gaga really think she can release hot pink Chromatica jockstraps and we'll just forgive her for the album's seven-week postponement? Because she's absolutely right we will.
Just days after confirming that her sixth studio album will finally with us from 29 May, Mother Monster has attempted to appease the braying crowds of gay men in lockdown desperate for new music by launching a range of Chromatica merch tailored to our very specific needs.
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Alongside the usual range of tops, trackies, and caps you might normally see a pop girl release to mark a new album campaign, the Lady Gaga online shop is offering hot pink jockstraps emblazoned with the words Chromatica.
Hot pink thongs and green briefs are also available, so gay men of every position and persuasion will be able to let their post-lockdown hook-ups know exactly who they're stanning.
The Chromatica jockstrap is available for $30 (£24.40) with a digital copy of the album, while a thong/album combo is priced at $20 (£16.26) and a briefs/album combo at $25 (£20.34)
Of course, the news that Gaga is flogging jockstraps alongside her latest material sent gay fans in meltdown, and the internet reacted accordingly:
lady gaga designing the chromatica jockstrap pic.twitter.com/sFBlH94eQE— Luigi M. (@LuigiM227) May 11, 2020
Lady Gaga selling Chromatica themed jock straps: pic.twitter.com/iUrWJYzgeX— Sam Stryker (@sbstryker) May 11, 2020
Are you wearing the...?— Total Eclipse of the Thot (@alexkfryer) May 11, 2020
Chromatica Jockstrap? Yes, I am pic.twitter.com/YL2uzEnqng
Guess we know what we'll be wearing when Chromatica does drop on 29 May...