Danny Beard Straight Expectations tour review: ‘Daddy’s home!’
“Like a moth to a flame, I was drawn to showing off like a big f****** c***”," the Liverpool legend told thier home audience, as witnessed by Attitude's Katerina Muszanskyj
Performing their hometown show during ‘Straight Pride’ (Liverpool VS Somewhere else) the passersby outside Danny Beard’s Liverpool Playhouse Theatre headline show consisted of the universe’s very own comedy sketch happening in real time…
A man wearing a football kit sneers towards his worst nightmare, two wine drunk twinks and a lesbian in Dr. Martens. This is going to be a fun night…
After successfully making it past Scouse Mortal Kombat, we venture inside and see Danny’s boyfriend (a lovely face we remember from our time backstage at Brighton Pride 2024) shifting Danny’s merch. Not just a pretty face then – get him to work girl!
We take our seats, the lights go down, and they’re here! Head to toe in a black sequinned catsuit and dripping in feathers. They then greet us with their famous Drag Race UK entrance line: “Liverpool, Daddy’s home!” and proceeds to belt out Anastasia’s ‘Left Outside Alone.’
“THEY CAN ACTUALLY SING. And well”
If you’re not familiar with the Drag Race UK series 4 winner, they’re much more than a lip sync queen… THEY CAN ACTUALLY SING. And well.
We won’t ruin the show for those still yet to attend, but Danny asked how mean we wanted them to be during the show, and after a unanimous ‘as mean as possible’ they give the people what they want and reads everyone to filth.
After running their mouth quicker than Mo Farrah – a quote from Danny themselves – we’ ‘re introduced to (and must shout out) Danny’s brilliant band, consisting of Sophie on drums, Ryan on guitar, Alex on bass, Nick on keys and Hayley on vocals.
Throughout the group’s performance, we’re treated to multiple notable covers, including something for the Girls Aloud fans and even one for the rock lovers. All the while, Danny periodically huffs on their bejewelled vape (attached to a mic stand, naturally).
One of my favourite quotes from the evening comes shortly after: “Like a moth to a flame, I was drawn to showing off like a big f****** c***”. Honestly, same. From one diva to another, I love ya!
Danny’s family, boyfriend and friend Katie join them on stage for one of their final numbers, ‘Simply the Best’. They sing and dance with their arms around each other. You could tell the moment was a cherished one for all of them.
“Two straight people got so sick of the straight jokes that they straight up left”
As the night drew to a close… multiple costume changes had occurred, crowd interaction had me in stitches, and two straight people got so sick of the straight jokes that they straight up left! A lot happened, but it was beautifully capped off with one final message: sending love to our trans siblings.
Brash and brilliant, Beard once again proves they’re always the giggle at a funeral. In a world that can often feel heavy, it’s vital we have artists like Danny to remind us that laughter is in fact the best medicine. (Unless it’s the popcorn lung from that Pineapple ice vape. Girl – get that seen to).
Danny Beard: Straight Expectations is currently touring the UK. Tour dates and tickets are available by clicking here.