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9 reasons RuPaul’s Drag Race wouldn’t be the same without Michelle Visage

By James Hawkridge

This

is Michelle Visage.

She’s the fierce, LGBT-loving phenomenon who in various lives has been a singer, co-hosted The Ru Paul Show, written a book and appeared on Celebrity Big Brother. But of course you’re already acquainted with her as the no-nonsense Judge/Queen of the World on Ru Paul’s Drag Race.

As this lady’s t-shirt puts it itself:

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Today (September 20) marks Michelle’s birthday. Exactly which birthday is a fact buried somewhere alongside the Ark of the Covenant and the lost Crown Jewels of King John, but we’re here to celebrate nonetheless, which 9 of Michelle’s most fabulous moments on RPDR – and that’s before you even get to this…

Gentlemen, start your engines, and may the best GIF… win!

9) The Library is OPEN (and reading is what…?)

ridonkulous

Michelle’s use of the English language is to create, innovate and inspire Queens (but usually to take them down a notch when they need it). When she’s not writing her best-selling Book The Diva Rules: Ditch the Drama, Find Your Strength, and Sparkle Your Way to the Top (available on Amazon, as Ru would shamelessly let us know) she’s using her platform to encourage the Oxford dictionary to add words such as ‘redonkulous’ into its vocabulary.

8) ‘Shabby Chic’, Sashay Away

homemade

With a keen eye, Michelle can spot the difference between ‘vintage’ and ‘garbage’ (pronounced ‘gar-barge’) quicker than you and I can get off the sofa when we hear the domino’s delivery guy ring the doorbell. She’s wise enough to know that Etsy isn’t always besty, that sometimes a lick of paint won’t do the job and honey, its fabric. Come on.

7) The Shade of it all

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Michelle’s independent. She knows what she wants from her body and yours, but that doesn’t mean she will let you judge her the same way. As every diva is, she’s a double-edged word, and preaches a message of acceptance; people are who they, don’t try and change them. Unless you’re Michelle Visage.

6) Pre-order my cookbook, because you just got served

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What’s that, Michelle cooks? No, we’re not telling you the title of her latest literary endeavour, and we’re not talking about Michelle’s Comedy Roast. One of the MANY pieces of life advice benefited from above to us by Michelle during her time on Drag Race includes the perfect response for when the waiter asks you how you’d like your steak: Meaty with a little blood, please (just like our rugby players).

5) Living a multicoloured life, just like us all

snorted-worse

Like all of us, Michelle has a past. And like most of us, there are parts in those former chapters of our lives that we’d rather forget. However, Michelle’s ability to embrace them is what separates her from us mortals. She’s proud to recall her days of dancing on bars and dark deeds. Embrace yourselves, and own it. Don’t be afraid to carry on living in fear of making a fool of yourself. Besides, you can always say you’ve done (or had) worse in your life.

4. Sickening!

messy

This is NOT Ru Paul’s Best Friend Race. If Michelle has something to say, she’s going to tell you, and this is a trait we all (to a degree) should adopt. If you want a piece of life advice from this article, look no further. You have found it.

3) Ooh Gurl!

vagina

Now, this is where us and Michelle differ. We get it, the maturity and completion of character that enables you to admire another person for who they are, parts and all. We just don’t think we’re quite there yet. Sorry, Michelle. Teach us your secrets.

2) You’re safe

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Michelle’s not always a drag to the queens! She knows what works well and when they do too, she lets them know it. A compliment sandwich (start with a good moment, followed up with criticism and finished with another compliment) is a trademark of Michelle’s, letting to let the contestants know they’re doing a good job but also to help them improve their game.

After all, whats a race worth if you don’t win it?

1) If you don’t love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else?

michelle-advice

But, let’s not view Michelle as a tyrant. Decisive, freedom fighter, the Devil on Ru’s shoulder? Yes. She’s a people person, in the sense that she understands people when they don’t understand themselves. She’s there to nourish, to protect the girls and to help them grow, to blossom into fully fledged birds so that once they leave Mama Ru’s nest, any criticism will just be water off a duck’s back.

So happy birthday Michelle! Today we celebrate the Second Mother’s arrival. May she guide us all to a higher destiny and (gently) force us to become the person she wants us to be, the person deep down we know we all can be.shake-em

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