Danny Dyer's first sexual experience involved a stripper and a strap-on

A set of memoirs written by ultimate ‘king of the geezers’ Danny Dyer was never going to be a dull read, but one anecdote in particular has caught peoples’ attention.

In an extract from The World According to Danny Dyer: Life Lessons from the East End picked up by DigitalSpy, the 38-year-old reveals that his “first sexual experience” involved one of his mates, a stripper and a “dildo up the bottle”.

Shockingly, the Eastenders star was just 10 years old at the time, but says he was a mere witness to events during a man’s birthday celebrations down his local pub.

“Look, ya’ve been warned. This is not for the the faint-hearted. Nor the weak stomached. To be honest, I wish I could blank it from my mind,” Dyer writes.

“It was one geezer’s birthday in the pub and at noon they got a couple of strippers in. These women could best described as rough and ready.

“They was ready and they was certainly rough – a bit of the Stone Age figure going on, never seen 21 again, nor 41 either, you get the picture?

“This isn’t some sweeping judgement on people of a certain age, either. We are judged by our actions, not how we look, and by actions they was filth.”

The Football Factory star continues: “One of my mates, who I won’t name, was about 16 at the time. He gets up on stage with them and, in front of 50 geezers – make sure ya ready, not just eaten or nothing like that – she puts a strap-on dildo and does him up the bottle.

“He was really into it. Try doin’ the Lambeth Walk after that, you slag. I can still see the expression on his face. It was bizarrely refined, like Sherlock Holmes enjoying a bit of violin.

“He had a fixation about the Old Khyber [Pass, rhyming slang for ‘arse’]. One time he poured Bloody Mary in there. He wandered off. We found him by the following the trail of tomato juice.”

Danny Dyer there, ever the wordsmith.

After the anecdote was picked up, fans were quick to point out the fact Danny had jokingly given a copy to his young son so that he “could get 2 know me a little better”, leading him to quip: “Porbably best he swerves that bit to be fair.”

https://twitter.com/MrDDyer/status/656469525307768832

Probably best he swerves that bit to be fair. #whoops https://t.co/wgUX9gMcPE

— Danny Dyer (@MrDDyer) October 20, 2015

Probably Danny. Probably.

The World According to Danny Dyer: Life Lessons from the East End is out this Thursday (October 22).

Danny Dyer’s first sexual experience involved a stripper and a strap-on

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