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Former Disney Channel actress Alyson Stoner comes out

The singer recalls how she initially struggled with her sexuality and underwent conversion therapy

By Fabio Crispim

Former Disney Channel star Alyson Stoner has come out as bisexual.

The actress, who starred in Cheaper By The Dozen, the Step Up series and The Suite Life of Zack and Cody, opened up about her sexuality in a powerful essay for Teen Vogue in which she spoke about falling in love with a woman for the first time, coming to terms with it and undergoing conversion therapy.

In the essay, Stoner recalled how she had fallen in love with a female dance instructor and had been “mesmerised and intimidated” by her. She explained how she texted her mother and best friend after the class saying: “I met a woman today, I’m not sure who she is or what I’m feeling, but I think she’s going to be in my life for a very long time.” 

As her friendship with the dance instructor progressed, Stoner eventually released there was more to their relationship, but dismissed any romantic feelings. However, their relationship progressed even further during one episode of Orange Is The New Black

Stoner wrote: “She and I continued to hang out and began sending good morning texts. Then we made dinner and watched Orange Is The New Black. Then we vented and supported each other. Then cuddled. Then kissed and kissed some more. OK, we were in a relationship. I fell in love with a woman.” 

Despite this, Stoner revealed she was frightened and underwent conversion therapy because she “had internalised some of the harmful beliefs and misconceptions about LGBTQ people and identities” and was warned by people in the industry that coming out would “ruin” her career.

At that time Stone explained that her worldview “neither supported nor accepted same-sex relationships”.

She wrote: “I prayed in turmoil nightly, begging to be healed from these desires. Certain pastors and community members tried to reverse and eliminate my attraction to her. I pursued physical relationships with men to convince myself that my love for her was just a spiritual battle attacking my character and discernment.” 

The 24-year-old explained how the dance instructor helped and supported her as she continued to go through with this until one day she collapsed on her bed and gave up. At the moment, the actress recalled how she had felt “a transformation, an ascension, an approach to life rooted in real love.” 

She wrote: “I, Alyson, am attracted to men, women, and people who identify in other ways. I can love people of every gender identity and expression. It is the soul that captivates me. It is the love we can build and the goodness we can contribute to the world by supporting each other’s best journeys.”

She finished the essay by writing: “If you’re questioning or struggling with your sexuality, gender identity, or anything else, know that I and so many who’ve gone before us are with you. Whatever your identity, you are loveable and wonderful and enough.

“I’m on the other side of some of these battles internally, but it’s still a challenge in the outside world. It’s OK. Dare to be yourself anyway. Find support, because we’re out there!”

She added: “And when you fall in love with anyone, you’ll know exactly what I felt for her. As ‘When It’s Right’ describes, it’s right when it’s right – and who it’s right with. She messed up everything in the best way possible, and I wouldn’t change a thing.” 

The essay comes as Stoner released her debut single ‘When It’s Right’ which is inspired by the dance instructor.