Lesley Joseph on who deserves a spin-off out of Ab Fab’s Patsy, Gimme’s Linda and Birds’ Dorian

Words: Jamie Tabberer; pictures: BBC/ITV 

Move over Baga Chipz: our Les has served brass, sass and mutton-dressed-as-lamb class as Birds of a Feather’s Dorian since 1989. (Can you believe we only just got the ‘Dorian Grey’ nod?) – and now, she’s starring as Mother Superior in a touring production of Sister Act.

Is the raven-haired bombshell more fabulous than ever at 76? Obviously, but we thought we’d check with our highly scientific She’s Got Attitude quiz…

What did you wear to your Birds audition?

I didn’t have to. It was written for me. I’d worked with [creator] Laurence Marks before. Laurence said Dorian was based on someone who’d wear white mink and nothing underneath. She’d go to the garage,open the mink, and say to the man at the pump: “Can you fill my car up for me?”
5/5
Pop culture gold!

Did you keep Dorian’s outfits?

My wardrobe’s full of leopard print. I kept a lot. Well, I had to buy them. Not at full price, obviously. We’d buy a lot on a one-off basis: Dorian wouldn’t be seen in the same thing twice. I’ve got a beautiful Moschino leopard-skin jacket, Jenny Packham suits… I’d say: “I think she needs a little Paul Smith handbag!” Because I knew I could buy it half-price…
5/5
A woman after our own heart.

How can we ensure we look as fabulous as you in our 70s?

Eat sensibly. Green vegetables, fruit. I’m on a diet at the moment as I put on weight in lockdown — I had a lot of Victoria sponge. I’ve lost about half a stone. I’m trying to get to my Dorian weight, which is about eight stone. I walk miles every day. It’s important to keep mobile. Yoga, stretching in the morning. And just don’t stress. And keep your roots done. I let my hair go white in lockdown, but in the end, I couldn’t. Dorian would never. But my mother lived to almost 104, so I think the genes are there. 
5/5
Yes, Mama!

What’s your most random A-list encounter?

I’ve had half an hour with the Pope, darling. I made him laugh and blessed him! I met Nina Simone in a sauna in a health farm. We chatted for half an hour. David Bowie and I did some live TV together before he became famous. We played hippies. Because it was live, I’ve never been able to find [it]. We’d have a laugh on the Tube every day together — he was just a guy, just out of drama school. He’d say: “Les, come and see our show at the Arts Lab!” I never got round to it. I kicked myself.
2/5
Cue the ‘Is Pope Francis an LGBTQ+ ally?’ debate.

Who deserves a spin-off show: Ab Fab’s Patsy Stone, Birds’ Dorian, or Gimme Gimme Gimme’s Linda?

I’d give it to Kathy Burke. She’s fabulous. I used to love that character.
5/5
The correct answer.

Rank these Strictly 2016 contestants in order of camp value: Judge Rinder, Will Young, Ed Balls, Lesley Joseph.

Rinder’s top. He’s a mate. We did panto together last year, had dinner the other night. He’s an extraordinary character. Then Will — he’s fabulous and came to see us in panto quite a few times! Ed’s hysterical. We did the tour together. Then me. I could never put myself at the top.
0/5
Ed first for that historic ‘Ed Balls’ tweet alone.

Which role do you relate to most: a) Sister Act’s Mother Superior b) The Wicked Queen in Snow White c) Dorian

Dorian. I played her for 33 years, she’s the flipside of a coin, really. 
4/5

SCORE: 74% Attitude

She’s inspired us to get a pedometer with her secrets to eternal youth and could moonlight as a drag queen with her enviable wardrobe. We are so in the Sister Act habit of Lesley Joseph.

Lesley tours the UK in Sister Act The Musical this September

The Attitude September/October issue is out now.