Miss Vanjie on dating as a drag queen and her ‘special’ link with Brooke Lynn Hytes
Exclusive: "I stopped doing drag and deleted my social media because the guy wasn't comfortable with it," says Vanjie as she talks past relationships and her new show Vanjie: 24 Hours of Love
Words: Jamie Tabberer; pictures: Provided
“You meet a lot of people who only want to date you because of [the Race],” sighs Vanjie. “Or because they want to benefit [somehow]…”
We’re used to seeing her in larger-than-life firecracker mode – and she certainly appears that way in the raucous trailer for her new dating show Vanjie: 24 Hours in Love.
But while speaking to Attitude and reflecting on her love life to date, the 30-year-old star is sweetly vulnerable.
Zooming from a sun-soaked vacation spot, Vanjie (also known as Vanessa Vanjie Mateo, or ‘Miss… Vanjie!’) shares that she’s always been a hopeless romantic – and a fan of a certain classic romance movie.
“I’ve always wanted The Notebook experience,” says the 30-year-old. “Someone to share my life with and grow old together. Because the clock is ticking. [Although, now] I try not to put so much emphasis on it. But it’s still something I want.”
On the show itself, Vanjie dates 18 men in 24 hours. (Think speed dating, but on speed – albeit not literally.) Says the Puerto Rico-born star: “I was exhausted and delirious – I was awake for 24 hours. You start speaking in tongues by the fourth person!” And if there’s another season? “The next one’s going to be Violet [Chachki] because she needs a man!” she jokes.
Here, Vanjie reveals all about her 2.4 child family dream, her relationship with her ex Brooke Lynn, and why she left the Sunshine State of Florida…
You speak quite loudly and filmed constantly for 24 hours. Were you hoarse by the end?
I can’t control it! It’s just how I speak! Unfortunately. You know how opera singers project? I naturally have that. Mariah Carey-isms. I’m always hoarse!
Did dating on-camera trigger past memories, like when you met Brooke Lynn on Drag Race?
It wasn’t triggering. The thing was, I don’t want this to be ‘my thing’. “OK girl, you’re just jumping from guy to guy!” But dating on camera is a vulnerable place.
What’s the state of yours and Brooke Lynn’s relationship now?
We’re good Judys. I saw her not too long ago. She just wrote me on Instagram: ‘I hope you’re enjoying your vacation!’ We’re really good. I’m glad things worked out the way they did with us. We’ll always have that special bond of experiencing the show. She’s doing her thing on Canada’s Drag Race. We out here hustling, honey.
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Tell us about your prior dating experiences…
I’m not shy about sharing my experiences. I’ve had a lot of different relationships, and not the best. I dated someone where I stopped doing drag. I moved, quit my job, sold my car, and changed my whole life. All sorts of horror stories, kind of like J.Lo with the movie Enough. I’ve been through hell and high water.
You gave up drag for the guy?
Yeah. I stopped because the guy wasn’t comfortable with it. He didn’t like me working at a nightclub. This was before Drag Race. I was new to drag. I put all that to the side to please him, deleted all my social media because he didn’t like it. We broke up and I moved back to Florida, auditioned for the show [Drag Race] and made it. Everything happens for a reason.
How is Vanjie: 24 Hours in Love sex-positive?
I remember growing up and not knowing exactly what things to do before… preparing! I feel like it’s a step in the right direction, to make [talking about it] normal. If people are prepared, they feel more confident going into certain situations. I loved that we had Gay Sex Ed [a web series on WOWPresents+, also featuring Kameron Michaels], sharing my experiences and opinions, good, bad, or ugly. Then, people can relate. We gossip but also take away a lot of information. What’s the most important thing I’ve learned? How people prepare to open the… booty hole.
Are you looking for a husband and kids one day?
Yes. Husband, kids, three dogs, two cats. Maybe two kids. I really do want it.
I can see it for you!
Thank you, babe. Don’t get me emotional, now.
Rank these queens’ in order of whose drag aesthetic you most prefer: Brooke Lynn, Silky, and Yvie Oddly.
That is hard. They’re all really good. Silky third, because Silky’s going to do what she wants to do. She’s gonna look pretty and fierce, little button nose, blush, and give you a good laugh, a kiki, a performance. Yvie second because her mind… you give her concepts, and she takes you places you never knew you were going to go. Brooke Lynn first as she always looks top-tier. I would love to buy some of her stuff. Take some of her stuff! She always looks polished. And I’m not biased because I dated the bitch!
You said you lived in Florida. What are your thoughts on the state’s ‘Don’t Say Gay, Don’t Say Trans’ bill?
That’s kind of why I left Florida – it’s a little bit of a mess. It’s upsetting to see that happening. Every time Florida is on the news, it’s a hot mess. There’s something in the air over there. I don’t mess with Florida like that. We’ve got to get these things together.
Vanjie: 24 Hours Of Love continues weekly on Thursdays at 20:00 BST exclusively on WOW Presents Plus. Subscribe via uk.wowpresentsplus.com.