Shady Bette Midler: The Divine Miss M’s most legendary tweets
By Will Stroude
Bette Midler.
Her half-century career has spanned film, television, stage and music. There’s every ’90s kid’s favourite film, Hocus Pocus, and possibly the best weepie chick flick of all time, Beaches. From her infamous early days entertaining the clients in gay saunas as ‘Bathhouse Betty’, to last year’s gorgeous girl group tribute album It’s The Girls – which scored the biggest first-week sales of her career – The Divine Miss M’s highlights are almost too numerous to list.
But instead, we’re turn our attention to the diva’s more recent, unexpected reinvention: As one of the undisputed queens of Twitter. After so many years in the biz, Midler has earned the right to simply not give a f*ck, and tweets with wild abandon about news and pop culture, happily making powerful enemies as she goes – the most recent of which being one Mrs Kardashian West. You may not always agree with what she says, but you have to admire her chutzpah. Take a look at a selection of her recent pearlers:
Lenny Kravitz's penis slipped out on stage? So what? Wait for the GOP Debate on tonight – there will be 10 dicks on stage!
— bettemidler (@BetteMidler) August 6, 2015
.@justinbieber dad tweeted he's proud of his son's penis size. I think the biggest dick in this situation is the dad who abandoned his son.
— bettemidler (@BetteMidler) October 10, 2015
…and when the Beebs responded to that diss, saying he didn’t even know who this ‘Britt Medler’ was:
.@justinbieber Britt Meddler! I don't know who that is either! But damn that bitch!
— bettemidler (@BetteMidler) November 5, 2015
Justin Bieber’s fans upset because Concert tickets w/VIP meet
and greet cost $2000. Well, remember, we all got to see his penis for free!— bettemidler (@BetteMidler) November 18, 2015
People, #CaitlynJenner says she is STILL voting GOP in2016. Regardless of gender identity, I guess she identifies most as "uninformed."
— bettemidler (@BetteMidler) November 19, 2015
Let me stop you before you start. Your opinion on Charlie Sheen is not #winning. HIV stigma is not a good look on you, or anyone.
— bettemidler (@BetteMidler) November 19, 2015
Thanksgiving is already next week! Lots of people
like to eat until they pass out, but I’m stockpiling Ambien so I can
pass out until I eat.— bettemidler (@BetteMidler) November 17, 2015
.@Trump hosted SNL w/musical guest Sia. What a pair: a gorgeous talent who hides her face and a braggart who'll put his face on anything.
— bettemidler (@BetteMidler) November 8, 2015
Amy Schumer & Jennifer Lawrence are co-writing a screenplay about sisters. Hmm, who could play their mother? She'd have to be DIVINE!
— bettemidler (@BetteMidler) September 1, 2015
Kanye West says he'll run for president in 2020. Who'd be in his cabinet? Kim Kardashian for Secretary of the Posterior?
— bettemidler (@BetteMidler) September 2, 2015
Scientists have discovered a comet that gives off alcohol. Well, if they find another that cuts up limes, sign me up for the space program!
— bettemidler (@BetteMidler) October 28, 2015
I can't picture Trump as president. Imagine him hosting the White House Easter Egg Roll. He'd steal some kid's egg and call him a "loser."
— bettemidler (@BetteMidler) August 20, 2015
What's that you say? Fast and the Furious has six sequels and Hocus Pocus has zero? #HocusPocus pic.twitter.com/y4jHhloEee
— bettemidler (@BetteMidler) October 27, 2015
Sickened by the German hunter who killed that beautiful elephant. Therapy to accept his small penis would've been so much cheaper.
— bettemidler (@BetteMidler) October 16, 2015
Trump said Megyn Kelly had "blood coming out of her wherever" during the debate. Jeez, he wants to legislate body parts he can't even name.
— bettemidler (@BetteMidler) August 11, 2015
Kim Davis is still denying licenses to gay couples! She believes the only true love is between a woman and a publicity stunt.
— bettemidler (@BetteMidler) September 13, 2015
Oh Bette, keep ’em coming…
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