The 15 strangest things Kitty Brucknell is selling on eBay
Series eight X-Factor contestant Kitty Brucknell AKA pinkmonkey2001 is a big name in the realm of online auctioneering – she has 99.5% positive feedback, don’t you know.
Brucknell’s eBay seller bio reads: “My name is Kimberley 😉 I’m a singer, in need of a good album to release. Wanna help?”
How could you not when the rewards are so tantalising? Kitty’s one-stop-shop could see you take home anything from Britney Spears memorabilia to black market teeth-whitening kits to an old Dove roll-on deodorant she’s got knocking about.
Here we bring you the definitive ranking of the very best items Kitty has to offer. Have a gander and add her to your favourite sellers while you’re at it. You won’t regret it.
15. X Factor LIVE TOUR AAA Backstage Pass 2012 Laminate & Lanyard KITTY BRUCKNELL
Current bid: £46.00
“YES DIVAS! I’m selling my AAA Access All Areas Lanyard and Laminate from the 2012 X Factor live tour. I will sign this for the winning bidder, but no snipers please. If there is 1 day left and 130 watchers but no bids, I’ll cancel the listing completely. I’m selling this to raise enough money to get my music out there, so please bear that on mind when you bid xx”
This is 100% Genuine and a great piece of X Factor history, there’s only one of these given to each participant so I’m sure they don’t come up on eBay often!
Xxx Kitty”
14. EXTREMELY RARE Britney Spears Black Top Hat from Circus Tour Merchandise Merch
Current bid: £6.50
“Extremely rare Britney Spears Black Top Hat from her Circus Tour. This is exactly like the one she wore on the show and was sold at the merch table. This is in mint condition (as you can see) and there were only a few of these EVER MADE.”
We’re absolutely tempted and loving Kitty’s mirror image in the background of the snap. Pro.
13. Steps – Steptacular (CD 1999) NEW CONDITION VERY RARE ITEM
Currently no bidders: £0.99
“Steps CD. VERY RARE ITEM. New condition.”
If “VERY RARE” means every second album at any charity shop.
12. Britney Spears Circus Tour Police Hat Costume Outfit Recreation Cosplay Dress:
Currently no bidders: £0.99
“Britney Spears Police Hat with “B” sign. Made for a tribute act. Bit of wear on the “b” but the hat is in great condition.”
Would. If if weren’t for the worn “b”. We ain’t no second-rate Britney tribute act.
11. Lady Gaga Tattoo Transfer Temporary Fake X15 Daisies Peace Unicorn
Currently no bidders: £0.99
“Lady Gaga temporary tattoos. 2 unicorns, 5 peace sign, 7 daisies, 1 treble sign. Stick ons. Colour.”
Got a wet flannel at the ready, just waiting for Mr Postman…
10. Teeth Whitening Kit Professional UK MADE *Teeth White* RRP £150+ 2 Gels STRONG
Current bid: £2.46
“This is a very rare chance to get your hands on a home teeth whitening kit from *Teeth White*. This was bought just before the UK government changed their laws on the strength of these kits, so unlike most of these cheap ones on eBay – this is THE REAL DEAL. You will get a shade up to EIGHT TIMES the current shade.
UK MADE, UK MANUFACTURER.
I must stress – most kits sold on eBay are from China or other countries where they aren’t as strict with what chemicals they use. I bought this intending to use it but I ended up getting veneers instead, so didn’t use it. You literally cannot buy these kits anywhere with this strength anymore. It’s probably one of the last ones.”
Selling outlawed teeth-whitening kits because you “ended up getting veneers instead”. Wins life.
9. Vintage 1910-1920s Wooden Toy Train Set MINT CONDITION Hand Made
Current bid: £1.04
“Looks handmade, and oh so beautifully. It’s immaculate and in mint condition. I only know it’s age because my mum said it belonged to her mother as a child – my grandmother was born in 1910, which makes this super old! 5 pieces, all beautifully made.”
That’s right, she’s selling a family heirloom – with the somewhat ambiguous age of, basically, “older than my nan”.
8. Glittering Fortunes by Victoria Fox (Paperback, 2013) Romance Novel Mills & Boon
Starting bid: £0.10
No description. And why would we need one? ‘Tis the literary classic Glittering Fortunes, after all.
7. GOLD Spray Panto Theatre Drag Queen MALE WIG Georgian Marie Antoinette Blonde
Currently no bidders: £0.99
“Men’s wig (could work for female?). Very unusual item.”
That question mark after “could work for female” – as if Kitty doesn’t wear it to bed most nights.
6. Australian Ant Eater Keyring Fluffy Toy NEW Cute !!!
Currently no bidders: £0.99
“Australian Anteater keyring. Super cute!”
Ah yes, the notoriously “super cute” Australian Anteater.
5. Brown PVC / Leatherette 131cm/139cm + lots offcuts, 39/139, 125/139 Fabric
Buy it Now: £25
“AMAZING and load of Brown PVC/Fake Leather material. Divided into two huge pieces, plus one longer bit and a whole bunch of off cuts. Off cuts of about 10 pieces. A total bargain as originally this material was very expensive.”
The first and last time offcuts of brown PVC will be described as “AMAZING”.
4. Sim City 2000 2 Floppy Disc MINT CONDITION RARE ITEM with Large Colour Box PC
Currently no bidders: £0.99
“Vintage PC Game. VERY RARE boxed item. Mint condition (like new) – 2 Floppy Discs plus instructions.”
To misquote Sharon Osborne: “Nobody does floppy discs anymore it’s called a CD.”
3. Lufthansa Business Class Silver Case Toiletries Travel Aeroplane Flight Amenity
Currently no bidders: £0.99
“Lufthansa Business Class Silver Travel Case /Amenities Kit. Just the case, nothing inside. Brand New.”
That’s mum’s birthday sorted. Now to source dad’s Easyjet sick bag and Aunty Carol’s laminated BA flight safety guide.
2. 1917 World War 1 Swagger Stick Solid Silver Royal Flying Corps NCO Military VG
Current bid: £25
“Very good condition, solid silver RARE polished bamboo ‘Swagger Stick’. Includes a bit of the history of who owned it as well.
NOTE – due to it’s rarity, this item has a reserve on it of £75 – to be reached before 1 day left.”
First: “Swagger stick”. Second: make your bed every now and then and maybe you’ll meet that £75 reserve Kitty!
1. Joblot NEW wholesale STARGAZER Wash Hair Colour Spray Yellow X90 75ml RRP £360
Currently no bidders: £0.99
“NEW AND SEALED STARGAZER YELLOW TEMPORARY HAIR COLOUR SPRAY
Yellow colour with a neon hint. This is a rare colour, the factory made a mistake and I bought the lot, I’m selling because it’s no longer needed.
The box is very heavy, so local pickup is preferred. However I can also hand deliver it to you for petrol costs, just let me know when you win the bid and I’ll send you an invoice with this info.”
Yep, a fuck-up at the hairspray factory means you could get all this AND a home visit from the lady herself for a fraction of the retail price. Happy bidding!
There we have it. Kitty Brucknell: the UK’s very own #QUEENOFEBAY.