The five things we want from the Ab Fab film

With Joanna Lumley revealing yesterday that the long-awaited Absolutely Fabulous film will start shooting this October, there was a buzz here at Attitude HQ: It’s ACTUALLY HAPPENING. But wait – will it be good? What do we want from an Ab Fab movie?

Without further ado, here are our five essential must-haves for Absolutely Fabulous: The Movie…

1. Lulu

She’s Eddie’s long suffering client who has sprung up in almost every season, and a few of the later specials too, so it would be criminal not to include the Scottish warbler in this ultimate Ab Fab venture. When we spoke to Lulu in March she hadn’t heard anything of it, but we hope Ms Saunders has come to her senses. The movie will be sorely lacking, without an almighty ‘Champagne for Lulu!’

2. A classic Edina Monsoon monologue

We love nothing better than watching Eddie taking on the establishment – whether it’s a pushy sales girl, or a court magistrate, she has the audacity and drunkenness to say the things the rest of us can only dream of, and does it with such admirable incoherence. We’re thinking about her venting her anger at the French authorities as she attempts to escape a scrape in the movie. And of course Patsy is always on hand on back her up…

3. The magazine crew

Patsy’s got her job as Fashion Director for life because she slept with the publisher, so surely after 20-something years it’s time for another editorial meeting? Roll up Kathy Burke, Helen Lederer and Harriet Thorpe and we’ll be very happy indeed. Photoshoot wise, it’ll be easy to squeeze in a fashion feature as they explore the French Riviera. They’ll need some models too…

4. Celebrity cameos

From Naomi Campbell to Whoopi Goldberg, Elton John to Stella McCartney, Ab Fab has had a roster of celebrity cameos to rival even the longest-running American sitcoms, and surely they’ll all be battling to have their moment in the movie? Earlier in the year Cara Delevingne said she wanted to appear in the movie – highly likely considering the many supermodel cameos. Madonna has always been top of Jennifer Saunders’ wish list, but Saunders said she was banned in 2012 after too many rejections. Perhaps Eddie can squeeze in her own parody of the BRITs fall instead.

5. Patsy Stone KICKING ARSE and TAKING NAMES

Whether she’s forcibly removing fat people from her high-end store, hunting poor Saffy for sport or threatening to murder her ditzy mag colleagues, Patsy’s at her best when she’s spitting that heady mix of nicotine and venom. Will old age have softened her edges in the film? Of course not – she’s FORTY-TWO.

So, those are our requirements. Jennifer Saunders, we believe in you.

Cheers, thanks a lot.

Words by BEN KELLY and NICK BOND