TV Pick: ‘Star Paws: The Rise of Superstar Pets’

From the dawn of time, man has looked at animals falling over, farting, or eating a lemon and enjoyed the reaction, but social media and the British press’s fondness for the phrase “viral sensation” has seen us enter a new era of fawning over pets.

So if you want to feel like a failure – and believe me, there are times in this high-flying job when I need to be brought down several pegs –­ tune in to Star Paws: The Rise of Superstar Pets tonight (August 27) to be brought into the wild, confusing and adorable world of “famous internet animals”. That’s animals who make a fortune for their owners by smiling, frowning, pissing on the bed or doing other regular things.

Star Paws recounts how animals have become the newest commodity in advertising – then examines the new industry which has sprung up to deal with the inevitable boost that chucking a cute animal towards your product will bring.

The rise of animals that earn more in a month than you do in a year – animals who could probably get on the property ladder even though all they really want to do is chew a wicker basket and vomit in your shoes – is a running theme throughout Star Paws, as we meet lots of famous animals and the owners who are thrust into the spotlight.

We meet internet sensations Grumpy Cat (who has a range of coffee-flavoured drinks “on the market” and actually suffers from a form of dwarfism, which is sort of sad), Bronte (the cat from that Three advert miming to We Built This City) and Spud, one of a long line of iconic Dulux dogs.

One of the highlights is the segment with Richard Best, a vet who is also heavily involved in casting the Andrex puppies every year. He goes out to scout some fist-sized beauties for the next campaign, and it’s quite amazing watching a grown man pop round to someone’s house just to throw toilet roll at a five-week-old lump that would rather go to sleep.

Because the puppies all fall asleep within 30 minutes, Richard is concerned they don’t have the stamina for a career in showbiz, so off he goes, back in his car, ready to spend another pleasant afternoon rolling around with dogs for a living. The next puppies are quite active, and start biting him a lot; there’s a bit where they rip his suit that I rewatched twice.

This is what makes Star Paws such a good watch. You spend most of the show slack-jawed at how the adorable animal industry has turned us all into complete infants, then you sort of bite your lip and check your bank balance and realise that if only you could get some kind of endorsement for falling down a set of stairs you’d be set for life. I mean, if a cat can get his face on a load of helium balloons, why can’t I?

Watch the trailer below:

Star Paws: The Rise of Superstar Pets airs tonight (August 27) at 9pm on Channel 4.