Halloween Horror Nights 2023 review – Scream if you wanna go faster, baby

Spooky season doesn’t quite get the love that other holidays demand – particularly if you’re outside the US. Which is why, if you love Halloween and horror, you need to take a trip to the States to fully immerse yourself in everything All Hallow’s Eve – and when we say immerse, we really do mean fully.

No-one quite does Halloween like Americans, so it’s no surprise that the number one attraction worldwide for the October holiday takes place there. Halloween Horror Nights has been running for 32 years at Universal Studios Florida theme park, growing from three relatively low-key evenings to a mammoth record-breaking 48-night event that’s broken free from Orlando and also takes place in Hollywood, Japan and Singapore.

But – if you don’t do Halloween like the Americans, you might have a preconceived notion of what the event is. Well, throw all that out of the window. No-one does Halloween like Universal does.

HORROR LORE

Originally being a film studio, it’s no surprise that Universal’s attention to detail for HHN is next level. While the event is built around a core set of 10 haunted houses that lurch into being after regular park hours, these – to paraphrase Cher – are not your mom’s haunted houses. These are, to all intents and purposes, custom-built film sets, in soundstages and on backlots, brought to life with music, sounds, smells, wind, water, actors and SIF. That’s ‘Stuff In Face’, to give the SFW description. You are, effectively, walking through a live production, based around various different stories.

No, the actors can’t touch you (nor you them) but they’re bloody good at what they do and it’s genuinely the most fun you’ll ever have being scared.

With the houses situated around the entire park, you have to travel through five different ‘scare zones’ to reach them – all of them also with different themes. A jungle full of terrifying giant creatures, a warped version of the zodiac, a shipping yard where mythical monsters have escaped containment or even – and this particular zone seems to be getting a lot of love – a sixties music festival overrun by hungry vampires. These too have giant set pieces and ‘scareactors’ in fantastical costumes lurking behind every corner – when dusk falls, the lighting hits and the famous fog pumps into the streets there’s nowhere to hide…

Send a screamer into the fog and that’s exactly what you’re going to get – prepare to be very hoarse the following morning. But it’s not terror that’s ultimately going to get you, it’s the laughter that follows the many, many jump scares you’ll experience through the night. Knowing that, ultimately, it’s all just good creepy fun makes those inevitable frights all the funnier.

That is, of course, not all. There’s a live-action fire-fuelled dance show called Nightmare Fuel Revenge Dream that plays throughout the night, speciality food and drink themed to all of the houses and areas – so, so much great food – a specially-themed tribute store bursting with exclusive merchandise, plus, possibly campest of all, a roaming horde of M3GAN dolls appearing throughout the park to do a killer dance routine and pose for photos. It’s insane, right?

M3GAN’s not the only doll on site this year, with Chucky making an appearance at a special Instagrammable pop-up, Chucky’s Killer Playground, at the Cabana Bay resort. It’s open daily from 2pm to 10pm to any Universal hotel guest and boasts a particularly impressive hall of mirrors scene, among others.

HOUSE RULES

Back at the main event, Chucky also has his own haunted house, Chucky: Ultimate Kill Count, in which he’s possessed 250 Good Guy dolls and, based on the very meta, very gay TV series, shows he’s not prejudiced when it comes to family or murder. It’s gruesome, funny, and camp – much like the movies Chucky comes from.

The Exorcist: Believer is surprising in that the film was originally seven weeks away from release at the start of the event – so what you’re walking through in this house is, basically, a living trailer. Maybe it’s the subject matter but it just feels wrong… which, of course, means it’s absolutely brilliant and one of the very best houses this year! Some of the smells are so foul that even this hardened horror fan thought they might throw up. Hey, you don’t get more immersive than that… Forget demon twinks, you’ve got possessed girls and actual demons coming at you here. And it’s awesome!

Stranger Things returns, after blowing the roof off of HHN in previous years, with a house based on season four and in particular, the character of Vecna. Yes, you’re going to visit his realm, yes you’re going to see a demobat fight, yes you’re going to hear ‘Running Up That Hill’ by Kate Bush. You’re also going to have Vecna jump out at you over 10 times, so be careful what you wish for.

One of the most beautiful houses – did we mention that these sets are both grand and visually stunning – is Universal Monsters: Unmasked. Guests walk under a Parisian bridge to avoid the rain (no, really!) and enter the sewers below the Paris Opera House, home to The Phantom. Except this Phantom isn’t trying to woo Sarah Brightman, this one’s cutting off people’s faces to create a skin mask for himself. As if that’s not enough, The Invisible Man, The Hunchback of Notre Dame and Dr Jeykll and Mr Hyde are also in France and up to no good. This house feels huge and, as well as having incredible sets, also has some truly brilliant scares – during the final moments guests, uncertain of the true exit, are attacked at all sides by the monsters. It’s a fantastic combination of storytelling, set design and acting with a truly memorable payoff. 

While The Last Of Us is based on Part One of the game, so was the Pedro Pascal TV series – which means fans of either are onto a winner for its HHN house. It is quite literally like walking through the game at points – with many Easter eggs hidden throughout for true aficionados. Again, there’s some next-level scares in here – no wonder given that the infected grow as you walk through each scene.

ORIGINAL SIN

With five houses based on known properties, the other five showcase the wonderful, warped minds of Universal creatives themselves, with original stories. The Darkest Deal leans on blues music as it chronicles a musician’s cursed agreement with the devil to achieve fame. Yeti: Campground Kills sees a family of Yeti seek revenge on humans for the death of their baby. Dueling Dragons: Choose Thy Fate is a more fantasy-themed house, based on a popular former rollercoaster featuring the magic of Merlin and, as you might have guessed, two massive dragons. 

Bloodmoon: Dark Offerings is another incredibly beautiful set, giving a depth of perspective you wouldn’t imagine seeing in a haunted house. Set in the Colonial-era, villagers worship the moon and hunt down all non-believers. Dr Oddfellow’s Twisted Origins taps into the 30-year legacy of HHN, utilising their own characters and event ‘icon’ characters – it also links into all the scarezones and other houses, should guests turned fans want to delve a little deeper into the madness…

There are podcasts – official and otherwise – plus many, many videos on YouTube that give just a glimpse of what it’s like to experience HHN, but you’ll never truly ‘get’ it until you’ve been there and they’ve ‘got’ you – it’s immersive in a way that Britain hasn’t yet elevated itself to with such things and sets a precedent for other haunt events globally. 

For this writer, what started off as a chance first visit soon turned into an annual pilgrimage and full-blown fandom. So trick or treat yourself! However you end up engaging with the juggernaut that is Halloween Horror Nights, if you’re a fan of horror you’ve absolutely got to put HHN on your bucket list. Even if your head ends up in said bucket… (We’re kidding! Or are we…?) Happy Halloween Horror Nights, witches!

Halloween Horror Nights runs at Universal Orlando until 4 November 2023. For more information visit halloweenhorrornights.com. 

Seven nights at Loews Sapphire Falls in Orlando with Virgin Atlantic Holidays, including scheduled Virgin Atlantic flights from London Heathrow direct to Orlando, accommodation in Standard Queen room on a room only basis starts from £1,576 per person. Price also includes a Universal 3 Park Explorer Ticket and Halloween Horror Nights single night ticket. Price is per person based on two adults sharing a room and includes all applicable taxes and fuel surcharges which are subject to change. Price is based on a departure date of 26th September 2023. Virgin Atlantic flies direct to Orlando twice a day from both Manchester and London Heathrow. 

Virgin Atlantic Holidays is a member of ABTA and is ATOL protected. To book: www.virginholidays.co.uk or call 0344 557 3859.