Becky Hill on winning Brits, amassing a billion streams and overcoming a ‘sense of hesitancy’ to come out
With a haul of hits and two BRIT Awards under her belt, Becky Hill has worked hard to prove her doubters wrong. This is why she is the winner of our Music Award, supported by Jaguar
It’s a drizzly morning at a photo studio in London’s trendy East End. But pop’s best-kept secret turned bonafide pop star Becky Hill is radiating human sunshine. “Hi, I’m Becky,” she announces as I arrive while she is having her nails done. “Thank you so much for inviting me to do this. I feel honoured.”
The 29-year-old Becky Hill – winner of our Music Award, supported by Jaguar at this year’s Virgin Atlantic Attitude Awards, powered by Jaguar – has had a busy year. Kicking things off with a second BRIT Award win in February, the singer, who came out publicly as queer just two years ago, has spent most of the year on the road playing shows on the UK festival circuit and dance music’s spiritual home of Ibiza, where she headlined the legendary Ibiza Rocks for a mammoth nine-week residency, a rave “curated with inclusivity and diversity at its heart”. She’s also been inescapable on the radio, with hits from her debut album — 2021’s Only Honest on the Weekend — staples on the likes of Radio 1 and Capital. And now, the singer is entering a new era as she prepares for the release of her as-yet-untitled sophomore album. Her summer single ‘Disconnect’, with drum and bass titans Chase & Status, is already a UK top 10 smash. Becky Hill is booked and busy.
And yet, despite sell-out shows, 18 UK top 40 hits and over a billion (!) streams, Hill is the humblest of pop stars. Sat before me getting her glam done for her first ever Attitude cover feature as she receives the Attitude Music Award, supported by Jaguar, Hill’s honesty and frankness are like a breath of fresh air.
Do you ever get nervous before doing big photoshoots like this?
I used to feel so self-conscious, but I’ve noticed the more self-conscious you feel, the more shit you look.
It’s hard to believe you’ve been in the game for over a decade — it’s gone so quickly! Does it feel like 11 years to you?
Oh, yeah! [Laughs] It definitely feels like it’s been a slog in parts, and I suppose when I was a lot younger, I used to get incredibly impatient. But I think one of the things I’ve learnt now with the beauty of hindsight is that I would have never been ready for any of this had it come any sooner. Being a woman in dance music, I’ve found it really difficult to try and get people to care about what I do, but it’s so nice now to see things really moving and moving quickly.
Did winning that first BRIT change people’s perception of you?
I’m not sure. I definitely felt like I had to up my game. Especially this year, I was like, ‘Oh, I’ve won another one — it wasn’t a fluke!’ The first [BRIT Award], I felt like people voted for me because they felt a bit sorry for me. But to win one twice was like, ‘Oh, people really do see me as The British Dance Act.’
Does that feel like a responsibility?
I definitely felt like I needed to up my game and level up my live show. I very much pride myself on being a great live act. I try to sound as good as the record, and I want to make sure that people who come to my show leave saying great things.
We know that some male DJs don’t even produce their own music; meanwhile, women are fighting to even get a credit. Does that frustrate you?
Yeah, but I think that’s the way society is built. If you’re a woman, a queer person, or a person of colour, you’re not surprised by any of those things. Not that I can speak for people of colour, of course. I knew when I entered this industry I had a battle on my hands, and I really had to show people who I was, and what I was about. I’ll continue to take on that challenge. It’s a shame, but it is what it is. The whole of society is built up to benefit the white straight man.
I’ve surrounded myself with queer people, so for me, I’ve got my little microcosm of people that I employ and work with, and I try and make it as queer and diverse and female-heavy as possible. And all the men that I employ are incredible people and so lovely to be around, and I think that’s important.
You approached your own coming out journey in your mid-twenties. Did it come as a surprise to you, or had this moment been one you had been thinking about for a while?
It wasn’t a surprise to me, no. My mother once said to me when I was 14 that she thinks all women secretly fancy other women, and that really resonated with me. Her saying that made the possibility of queerness come alive for me, and from that moment I felt seen. It grew from there, and I started experimenting throughout my teens and twenties.
Did you discuss your sexuality with your partner before coming out publicly?
I came out for myself and didn’t feel the need to discuss [my sexuality] with him beforehand as I love him and will remain faithful and loyal to him regardless of my sexual orientation. Admittedly, I think he took a little while to get his head around it. But actually the reason why I came to terms with my sexuality was because he had always said to me, “Getting with girls isn’t cool to me. It won’t impress me if you suggest threesomes or snog girls in front of me.” It really hit home that some women use [their sexuality] to appeal to the male gaze, and I didn’t want to follow that rhetoric. He’s taught me a lot about myself and allowed me the room to really be who I am. I love him dearly for that.
Bisexual people sometimes face different hardships from gay people. It’s the notion of not quite belonging to either the straight or gay community. Does this resonate with you as a queer person?
I definitely felt a sense of hesitancy when coming out, as I was in a heterosexual relationship. I found people would ask me how that worked, and I felt a need to almost prove my queerness so as to not to be branded as “Doing it for the clout”. I have made my brand queer-centric but not for any reason other than my own desire to express my sexuality for myself, not for anyone else.
Have you, or would you, ever write about a queer relationship or experience?
I’m seven years deep into my relationship now, so any queer experience that I had is a long time ago. But I’d find it difficult. My queerness revolves around the fact that I find women very attractive, but I’m not sure I could ever fall in love with a woman. Whereas I don’t find men attractive at all, but I’ve fallen in love with men and currently am in love with one.
That’s a song in itself!
How many people do you know who don’t fancy men, but can fall in love with them, and fancy women but don’t want to fall in love with them? I can’t see Debbie from Doncaster resonating with that one [laughs].
You have some amazing queer performers in your live act such as Freida Slaves and Chiyo. What do they bring out in you on stage?
I definitely feel like my confidence has been boosted by them. They really have held me and gassed me up on stage to the point where I’m laughing down the mic. But especially in the last few years, I think it has been really important to work with queer performers like them who are so prominent on the scene to really ground myself as a queer person in dance music, which has become such a straight white place.
You’ve won a number of awards and had a crazy amount of hits. Does it piss you off when people still refer to you as an underdog?
I think the pressure of it has driven me for most of my career. I definitely feel like it’s been so lovely to see the underdog thing wear off in the UK and to be seen in my own light. But I feel that same sense when I go abroad now. It’s like I’ve still got something to prove, and I think half of the drive is trying to prove myself to people that feel like I’m still the underdog… I definitely think that it drives me to show people what I can do and what I’m about.
Now, we all listen to Becky Hill at pre-drinks. But what does Becky Hill listen to before going out-out?
[Laughs] I love listening to drum and bass before I go out. I think that really hypes me up. DJ Zinc, Chase & Status… It makes me feel so honoured that I’ve listened to those artists since I was a teenager, and now I have my very own single with those guys featuring.
Are you the last one on the dance floor or do you prefer a French exit with a kebab in the back of a taxi?
Oh, no! I was always the very last one out. Always front row.
What was it like to have a huge viral hit with ‘Remember’?
I’ll tell you what, it was a little bit useless for me [laughs]. I was noticing that people were listening to the track [at the time of writing, it has over 300 million streams], but I noticed that my following didn’t grow very much. I think that’s the problem with TikTok — it becomes quite a faceless, fickle sort of viral moment. People just want to watch something for seven or eight seconds and scroll on. I think that’s been one of the most difficult things throughout my career… Getting people to give a fuck.
How important is it for you to tell your story through music?
I think it’s important to not feel alone, and I think that’s the beauty of music. When I’ve felt so alone in a situation and [released] a song about that, when people go, “I feel like you were writing that about me and my situation,” I think that is the greatest thing about music. It can really feel like a group therapy session with a bunch of strangers that you’ve never met before [laughs].
We’ve heard a couple of singles from the new album, but what does the rest sound like?
It’s definitely deep-rooted in dance music. I was noticing that the songs that I was putting out weren’t really reflecting the musical taste that I have. I feel like I’ve gone a little darker and more progressive in terms of the house [tracks]. I’m doing stuff that’s a little bit more club-related, but that can hopefully sit across radio as well. I’m very excited for people to hear it.
Have you ever thought, ‘Fuck it, I’m done with dance. I’m going to make a country album’?
[Laughs] Not yet… but the time could always come!
Do you care about chart success?
I [still] get a lot of anxiety around releasing music, and I have to check myself and be like, ‘[I’m] not doing this to seek validation, and the worth of a record isn’t directly affecting my self-worth.’ But I love my job, and hopefully I get to carry on doing it for a long time.
It’s remarkable that you can still feel like an imposter despite your huge success.
Like you said, people still see me as an underdog. I think it’s [because of] those sorts of attitudes that I’m like, ‘Oh, I’ve still got work to do.’ I’m at a stage in my career now where I’m halfway up the mountain. I tend to look up too much and think, ‘Fucking hell, there’s so far to go!’ I forget to look how far up the mountain I’ve come. I have to remind myself every now and then that I’m doing all right, and I get to wake up every day doing something that I love.
You’re doing more than OK. Right, quickfire round. I want your hot takes on the following: Jumping the queue at a club?
Only if you’re on the guest list.
Vaping on a dancefloor?
I’m all right with that.
Heels at a rave?
Not my thing. If you’re going raving, it’s definitely got to be trainers.
Jagerbombs?
Straight Jagermeister, no bomb. It’s my shot of choice. I’m good with tequila as well.
And lastly, house remixes of Taylor Swift songs?
I’m out. That’s a no from me. [In American accent] Leave Taylor alone!
Words Joseph Ryan-Hicks Photography Azazel Creative director Joseph Kocharian Styling Kyle De’Volle
The Attitude Awards issue is out now.