My Son’s A Queer (But What Can You Do?): an affirming and moving play 

Like many people, I first discovered Rob Madge during lockdown when they started sharing videos of them as a young child. Videos of a confident, theatrical child putting on plays for their quietly supportive family filled my timeline.

From spinning their grandmother around on an office chair imitating a teacup ride to chastising their father for missing his cue, there seems to have been no end of entertainment provided by Rob.

These home movies were an online hit. Not only are they hilarious, they clearly spoke to so many people who had grown up ‘different’ but supported by loving families. One of my earliest memories, for example, is being at the front of a bus going to meet my little brother in the hospital.

At two years old, I was on my grandfather’s lap, clutching my Barbie. When we arrived, apparently I made everyone wear the free hats provided by the hospital (which were, of course, cardboard bedpans). My exhausted mother was not exempt.

Not only were Madge’s productions considerably more elaborate in their youth than mine, they have now gone a step further by producing a wildly successful theatrical production. Their fabulous play, My Son’s A Queer (But What Can You Do?) uses monologue and song, interspersed with gloriously funny home movies, to tell Rob’s personal story of growing up queer.

The crucial element is the support Rob received from their family. ‘He’s going to be on the stage’ we hear their grandmother accurately predict in one video, as Rob busily rearranges the living room into their latest set. As the play’s headline song says, “anything is possible when the stage is your living room”.

As you might expect, it wasn’t always smooth sailing. When young Rob was desperate to have the yellow dress worn by Beauty and the Beast’s Belle, their dad wasn’t convinced. Instead, he bought Rob a Beast costume. Disappointment later turned to joy, however, when they opened their grandmother’s present: a hand-sewn yellow Belle dress. For those sat around me who had managed to remain dry-eyed until this point, this was their turning point!

My Son’s A Queer (But What Can You Do?) is moving, well-staged, and at times hysterically funny. More than that, it is deeply political. It is an impassioned call to parents of children whose sexualities and genders divert from what they had expected to love, respect, and, most importantly, encourage their children. To love their queer children not in spite of their queerness but because of it. This is a vitally important message.

The Albert Kennedy Trust reports that nearly a quarter of young homeless people identify as LGBTQ+ and, of those, 77 percent believe that ‘coming out to their parents was the main factor’ in making them homeless.

This play, then, is a loud message to queer children that they are valued and special, and a clarion call to their parents to remind them of that fact every day. I cannot recommend it highly enough.

My Son’s A Queer (But What Can You Do?) is laying at the Garrick Theatre until Sunday 6 November. Get tickets here.