‘Dinner, dessert, then a visit to his dungeon’: The Old Gays share their hilarious guide to sex

The Old Gays, in case you didn’t know, are social media sensations.

The group, comprised of Robert Reeves (born 1943), Michael ‘Mick’ Peterson (born 1956), Bill Lyons (born 1944) and Jessay Martin (born 1953), boast 717K Followers on that most old hat of social media platforms, Instagram, and a staggering 11m followers and 222.3m likes on the youth-orientated TikTok, where fans go crazy for their cute dance routines and candid confessions. And not content with taking over the digital landscape, the Palm Springs-based foursome are now moving into print.

Here, in an exclusive extract from The Old Gays Guide To The Good Life, Robert, Mick, Bill and Jessay talk all things sex in your 60s, 70s and beyond. We’re blushing already.

Things are gonna get a little spicy here, cha cha cha! Mmm-hmm, we love to talk about getting lucky. We don’t think there’s anyone else who worships crotches and asses as much as Robert does. Jessay may be a spiritual man, but he’s a very sexual being, too. “I tell people, if it doesn’t say ‘… and God said,’ then I’m okay with it. God never said anything about homosexual-ity.” Mick self-identifies as bi and is super sex-focused. He injects the subject into any conversation, much to the shyness/embarrassment of Bill, who calls himself “passionate vanilla” in the bedroom. Here’s the thing. The four of us love lovin’, but we are very different when it comes to matters of the heart and other body parts. Contrary to what many may think, gays are as diverse in their predilections as anyone else. We’re not all into kinky boots and cock rings. Some of us are cuddle bunnies who love to spoon. Sometimes both are true.

So, okay, let’s get into the fun stuff. Here’s a candid conversation about all things sex, no filters, no holds barred. We left no stone un- turned. “Stone” is not a euphemism for anything. Get your mind out of the gutter… Here we go!

WHAT’S YOUR TYPE?

MICK: Short, tall, and in between, they gotta have a great body . . . muscle attracts muscle.

ROBERT: Toned. The whole package. Just a nice, toned body.

BILL: My favorite type is a lean, well-defined body. I guess I don’t really have a type. A lot of people do, but to me it just depends on the individual.

WHAT’S YOUR IDEAL ROMANTIC DATE?

MICK: Dinner, red wine, dessert, and then a visit to his dungeon.

JESSAY: I’m a verbal person. I like to get to know you. I look into your soul while I’m looking at you. So, dinner, conversation, then sex.

BILL: Lying on the beach all day, taking a shower, having sex, then going down for an absolutely beautiful dinner. It ends up with us in each other’s arms falling asleep in bed.

ROBERT: I was romanced by a guy in San Francisco, which I really enjoyed. He sent me flowers periodically right after we met. I would pick him up and when we’d drive around, and he’d put his hand on my leg. And that went on for a few weeks before we first had sex. The anticipation was hot.

DO YOU THINK WAITING TO HAVE SEX IS NECESSARY?

ROBERT: If I meet someone who I am really attracted to, I want to get to the sex quickly.

JESSAY: I don’t plan it. I just get there and see what’s gonna happen.

BILL: I’d sleep with ’em right off the bat. I think sex is a very important part of any relationship, and I think you should know what you’re getting into, because yes, you can fall in love with a person, but what if they’re lousy at sex? Then what? I’d rather get that out of the way first and set boundaries later.

MICK: As far as the dungeon is concerned, my OGs don’t know what they’re missing. Still, one always dives headfirst into a lit pool with eyes open. The protocol that I follow begins with me: the bottom interviews the top first. Then the top interviews me. Through the process of discovery, the two of us close in on where there is “trust” and what gets each other off.

Until and only when I, the bottom, place trust in the top… the bottom always rules. A top will ask what me what I’ve done, what I want to do, and what my “threshold at present” is. A “threshold” can mean such fun objectives like extending the length of time that I suffer or endure an edging; my nipples worked over; my genitals electro-shocked; or my pecs flogged. As you see, it is my ability to tolerate pain that is paramount. Guaranteed that my getting a little stoned, having my nipples worked over, and my pecs flogged will send me into the stratosphere of an endorphin rush. Just imagining such a scene will stiffen my resolve, leaving me spent. The top, now having his innate erotic need to dominate a twisted muscle stud bottom fully satisfied, also achieves orgasm. Hearing a top say to me at the conclusion of our scene, “You’ve given everything that I’ve asked for,” leaves me with a warm feeling for the guy.

ROBERT: For me to go to a dungeon, it would have to be somebody that I knew pretty well over an extended period of time for me to develop the level of trust. I have a fear factor of being tied up or somehow restrained in a way that I can’t get out and not knowing what that person is going to do to me.

JESSAY: Being in a dungeon doesn’t mean that you’re gonna always be tied up. There’s this notion that it’s about fear and losing control, but it’s actually not like that. There’s a lot of trust involved and a lot of protocols for protection, which can make it all very tender.

MICK: Exactly, that’s why you discuss all prior to what’s going to happen. You know, a little grass helps, a little red wine, a little smooth talking. There can be an element of romance that I find very scintillating. Usually, these are very interesting guys.

BILL: I have never experimented in that particular world. I’m very vanilla. Passionate vanilla.

MICK: The only time when I felt out of control was in an isolation chamber. Freestanding and built like a bank vault, though it was padded. In soft black leather! Which is good because when the door was shut the chamber went pitch-black. I could not see a hand in front of my face. Unless a two-way speaker was activated, no one could hear me. In less than a minute, I’d thrown my body against all four sides. There were little holes and vents where inhalants and clouds could be pumped in. The host was savage. He just waited. At last the little slit in the door opened. Calmly, he asked, “How you doing, Mick?” In a low and I admit desperate voice I replied, “Sir, please let me out!” He was cruel. Still, I was in the grasp of a hot dom top daddy!

JESSAY: That’s why we’re all not the same. I try not to judge you.

MICK: When you say that you can’t handle being blindfolded, that means you are unwilling to give up the control. You have to know how far you want to go with somebody. What is the extent of and how strong is your mutual trust? Because pain and its high are temporary. Hey, I’m a freak . . . a pain pig. Yes, I experience discomfort and hurt. That’s part of the training. But no injury for me. That’s my rule. By the way, if you’re wrapped up in plastic, that kind of confinement is torture. 

The Old Gays Guide To The Good Life is published by William Collins and is out now