Omar Apollo on discussing queerness in music, coming out, and safety: ‘That’s not a joke to me’

As much as Omar Apollo likes to have fun and joke around, there are some things he takes very seriously. Among them is the safety of LGBTQ+ people, something he can relate to himself.

Appearing on the cover of Attitude’s September/October issue – out now – the ‘Glow’ singer discusses how he has talked about his queerness in his music.

While some people consider the first explicit reference to queerness in Omar’s music to have been on his 2020 EP Apolonio, he says the messages were always there. “If you knew, you knew, if you didn’t, you didn’t, and if you asked, you just weren’t listening,” he says. He goes on to share details about the first song he wrote where he referenced a boy. “I remember how it goes,” he says before gently singing, “‘I’m jealous of you, I’m jealous of you.’

“That’s the first time I ever wrote about a boy, and this never came out. But it’s such a good song. It was an Arthur Russell vibe. My first time ever saying ‘boy.’ It felt so natural. It’s like when you’re gay and you’ve been kissing girls your whole life, then one day you kiss a guy, you’re like ‘Oh, that’s why everyone loves it.’”

“I didn’t want it in writing because it would affect my personal life if I did” – Omar Apollo

Omar, who grew up in Indiana as a child of immigrant parents from Mexico, also reveals that he didn’t feel like he could talk about queerness openly for some time. Referencing questions about it he says he’d “get so mad” because people didn’t understand his personal circumstances. He elaborates. “That I literally couldn’t speak about my sexuality. If you knew, you knew, but I didn’t want it in writing because it would affect my personal life if I did speak on it in that way. My parents are immigrants. They can’t catch on to lyrics quickly, but anyways, I had shit going on, so I couldn’t speak about it without feeling unsafe. But now everything’s fine.”

As well as talking about mostly resolved issues with his family and friends, Omar discusses the idea of coming out, something he has previously described as “lame.” Asked about his opinion the 27-year-old clarifies: “Why would you feel like you have to come out? It was the online thing that’s lame, proclaiming your identity to the world. It’s OK to just live; I don’t think you need to be telling the world. That’s strange. Your close friends and stuff, yeah.”

Speaking in his Attitude cover story he takes a more serious note: “It really depends on your situation. People don’t understand other people’s realities. It’s dangerous for some people to come out.” Omar goes on to highlight the liberal areas of New York and Los Angeles, where he’s often based, as bubbles of safety. “But there’s places where it’s literally not safe to be yourselves. So that’s why the idea of it was always just like, ‘Why do I have to tell you? I don’t know you. You don’t know me. I like to suck dick, why do you have to know that?’ I joke around a lot. But I’m being serious. That’s not a joke to me. Everyone’s lived experience is different with their queerness and where they live.”

Words Alastair James Photography Ryan Pfluger Fashion direction Joseph Kocharian Styling Jake Sammis Hair and Makeup Anna Bernabe at Kalpana Styling Assistant Cole Norton

Read the full feature in issue 360 of Attitude, available now.