Passages and pleasure: 9 powerful and memorable LGBTQ sex scenes in film and TV

Critically acclaimed since its debut at this year’s Sundance Film Festival, drama film Passages looks at the explosive relationship dynamic between three 30-somethings in Paris that epitomises the word “complicated.”

It follows fiery and frenetic movie director Tomas, played by Franz Rogowski, and his comparatively meek husband Martin, played by Ben Whishaw. When Tomas embarks on a second relationship with a woman – schoolteacher Agathe (Adéle Exarchopoulos) – the boundaries of Tomas and Martin’s open marriage is put to the test. So too are Agathe’s expectations of a relationship, beyond the passionate connection she and Tomas evidently share.

Is Tomas having an affair? Is he in two open relationships? A ménage à trois? Are the three of them engaging in polyamory – until one of them isn’t? Passages offers no clear answers. Rather, like its name suggests, it explores all these possibilities and more.

The centrepiece of the film – which will be released in cinemas 1 September by MUBI – is arguably an extended sex scene in which Tomas and Martin’s intimate and erotic connection is laid bare. Here, inspired by Rogowski and Whishaw’s talent and daring, Attitude unpacks this explosive sex scene, and others like it from film history. From the unforgettably hilarious to those envelope-pushing firsts, plus one or two watercooler moment controversies, join us for a trip down memory lane…

1 Tomas and Martin in Passages

Passionate and intense though it may be, the aforementioned sex scene in Passages is far from salacious. But that didn’t stop the Motion Picture Association in the US from giving it an NC-17 rating, a rare classification usually reserved for particularly graphic or explicit content. This writer, for one, can absolutely imagine that the classification was a result of distaste for gay sex. Director Ira Sachs, meanwhile, has called the move “a form of cultural censorship that is quite dangerous.”

“I’m just so happy that that scene was as strong and powerful as it seems to be, because that was my intention,” Sachs added to the LA Times. “Which was to have a moment in the film in which we don’t hide from the impact of sex on our lives and what it means to us as individuals.”

What makes the scene so powerful and unique is the sheer length of the long take, and the actors’ tireless dedication throughout; it’s the uncovering effect of the raw sense of the intimacy fostered. Tomas, who’s hitherto called the shots both at work and in his marriage, submits to Martin’s sexually (and we’re not referring to the physical act of bottoming, but something deeper) while Martin, who we’re used to seeing move like a frightened animal, becomes almost ferocious. One can imagine cis-het viewers wondering aloud: ‘Oh. I thought it would be the other way around.’ But queer viewers, and particularly bisexual men, might well relate to the upended expectations and shifts in power dynamics when sex is (in theory) free of prerequisite patriarchal pressures.

2 Jack and Ennis in Brokeback Mountain

Jake Gyllenhaal and the late Heath Ledger starred as Ennis and Jack in 2005 Oscar-winner Brokeback Mountain, an epic tale of clandestine love between men set among the humbling landscapes of Wyoming and Texas in the 60s and 70s.

Asked how he prepared for the sex scenes, Ledger said in a 2005 interview with E! Online: “I guess there is no real preparing. You know, unlike my character I am a huge fan of love, and I’m in love with love, and I’ve investigated love, and you know I’m very expressive, and so I know how to feel love. Whether it’s love that’s, like, trapped and unable to be expressed, I have a thorough understanding of it. And if it’s kissing someone, that too. I know how to kiss someone, I know how to make love to someone, so I can – you just kind of do the same thing. But it’s with a different person. It’s with a man. But you just – you kind of know how to kiss someone, so you just do it.”

Asked in a 2021 interview with the Sunday Times whether he thinks his and Ledger’s casting would cause controversy today, Gyllenhaal said: “Part of the medicine of storytelling is that we were two straight guys playing these parts. There was a stigma about playing a part like that, you know, why would you do that? And I think it was very important to both of us to break that stigma.”

3 Miranda and Che in And Just Like That season two

A lot has been written about the awfulness of Che, the non-binary comic played by Sara Ramirez in Sex and the City spin-off And Just Like That. They’re arrogant and unfunny, sure – but there’s no denying their sexiness – particularly in the eyes of longstanding SATC character Miranda, played by Cynthia Nixon, whose heterosexuality was obliterated by Che with all the melodrama of an opera in Carrie’s kitchen, while her best friend recovered from surgery in the next room.

Speaking to InStyle about AJLT‘s need for sex scenes and nudity, Nixon said: “The show is about sex, and sometimes people have sex with their clothes on, but most often they are naked when they have sex,” she explains. “So, I always try and make a decision about would she, realistically speaking, be naked here. In which case — OK, it’s not my favourite thing, I don’t feel wildly comfortable about it — but OK, I’m game.”

The 57-year-old added: “She fell in love with Che and started having this very exciting sex, so we saw a lot more skin. We saw shoulders and neck and arms.”

Another under-appreciated quality of Che’s is their resoluteness about ethical non-monogomy. Upon discovering their lover is in a closed marriage with husband Steve, they issue Miranda an ultimatum – me or him. The love-drunk redhead chooses the former… and chaos ensues right into still-airing season two.

4 Adam’s golden shower scene in You season four

Actor Lukas Gage just can’t stop going viral, whether for calling out rude directors or depicting rimming with on-screen lover Murray Bartlett in The White Lotus season one. The rising star once again became the talk of the internet for a sex scene when You season two dropped earlier this year.

In the serial killer drama, Gage plays wealthy playboy Adam, who is publicly straight and in a relationship with a woman. However, privately, he is into men, and in episode two is seen indulging in a kink rarely shown on screen: watersports.

“If we’re showing this character [on You] who has a hidden kink and he’s struggling with being honest, or a guy [on The White Lotus] who is having his first queer experience with his boss, I feel like it’s a disservice to not see that,” Lukas said in an interview with the New York Times in March.

Reflecting on sex scenes generally, the star said: “I get a lot of backlash in my DMs about it, saying, “That’s so disgusting.” And that pisses me off because I don’t want to yuck anyone’s yum. But a lot of people can have a hard time separating the actor from the character, and then, suddenly, people are coming up to me at Starbucks asking [if the scene was real]. People forget it’s make-believe.”

5 Sook-hee and Lady Hideko in The Handmaiden

Where to start on the subject of sex scenes in director Park Chan-wook’s 2016 thriller The Handmaiden, also on MUBI. There are too many to count across a fabulously indulgent two hour, 24-minute running time, and every single one is stylised to breathtaking extremes.

The film examines the dynamic between a wealthy woman and the scam artist handmaiden employed to care for her, with whom she soon falls in all-consuming love and lust. Their first sexual encounter supposedly sees Sook-hee training her in the art of lovemaking ahead of her marriage to a nefarious suitor. (“I’m sure he’ll want to do this too!” whimpers Sook-hee, as she touches Lady Hideko’s breast. “Will he really be so tender as this?” she replies.)

It’s a dream-like fantasy come to life complete with silk sheets and editorial-worthy nightdresses, quietly turbocharged by two open-hearted performances from stars Kim Tae-ri and Kim Min-hee. Their sexual and emotional chemistry will sweep you away, as it did Korean audiences. “Contrary to what you may think, there were no boycotts or protests in Korea due to the depiction of sex scenes or homosexuality,” Chan-wook has said.

6 Pray Tell and Ricky in Pose season two

Pose broke many barriers – most notably for having the largest cast of out trans women of any scripted TV show ever.

But it also pushed the envelope in its depiction of tender romance between HIV positive Ricky (Dyllon Burnside) and Pray Tell (Billy Porter, who himself shared with the public that he is HIV positive in 2021). What’s more, the characters’ sex scene was reportedly the first to be shown on-screen between Black, queer, HIV-positive male characters.

Dyllon reflected on the moment in an interview with Metro in 2021, saying: “The way that it played on screen was not scripted. That was a collaboration between Steven Canals, who wrote and directed that episode, and Billy and myself. It was filled with care and passion.”

He continued: “So many times we think about sex as being something that’s purely just about the physical, and what I know to be true about sex is that it’s so much more than that – it’s an intimate, emotional, spiritual experience; it’s a full mind/body experience; and I think the thing that brought Pray Tell and Ricky together is the same sort of feeling of isolation, of lovelessness, that they maybe felt because of their statuses.”

7 Diane and Rita in Mulholland Drive

For a film as intellectually challenging and often eccentric as Mulholland Drive, it’s telling that it’s beating heart is this remarkably earnest, elemental sex scene, in which two women (Diana and Rita, played by Naomi Watts and Laura Harring) escape the perils of Hollyweird for a night of passion that’s as loving and tender as it is erotic and carnal.

In an interview with Dazed to mark the film’s 15-year anniversary, Laura said: “The love scene wasn’t easy. Naomi was wonderful and we were comfortable with each other. But it was the vulnerability of being undressed. I wasn’t coming out of my dressing room. I was so worried.”

Perhaps the most notorious sex scene in Mulholland Drive, however, is a heartbroken Diane’s masturbation scene, which flits between pleasure and self-harm, arguably symbolising the fraught relationship some queer people have with their own sexualities, and themselves.

“I did anger, I did crying, it was just wildly uncomfortable,” Watts remembered in an interview for the 20-year rerelease. “The thing with David is he just keeps you going, you want to please him because he’s after something really true and you don’t want to give up.”

8 Ruthie and Shar in Queer as Folk season one

In the original, Russell T Davies-created Queer As Folk in the 90s, discourse focused on the central age-gap relationship between Aidan Gillen’s Stuart and Charlie Hunnam’s Nathan – symbolised by a headline-grabbing rimming scene in the pilot.

Peacock’s sex-positive 2022 reimagining of the show moved the action to New Orleans, boasted a cast including Sex and the City icon Kim Cattrall, and contained a nod to that rimming scene in its opening episode. However, it is a sex scene between a gender-diverse couple that really stays with the viewer. In it, trans woman Ruthie (played by Jesse James Keitel) has sex with her non-binary partner Char (played by CG).

“I’ve never been prouder of anything in my life,” actress Keitel said in an interview with Attitude last year of her decision to go completely nude for the scene. “I hope that scene has an impact on people who may look at people with similar bodies to me with disdain, lust, hatred, admiration, confusion, whatever… I hope people can say: ‘That was an emotional, impactful, empowering sex scene with someone who happens to be trans.’ Or: ‘I see myself in that.’” 

The star furthermore added: “When the question was first posed to me of whether I’d entertain the idea of doing that scene, I always said: ‘For the right role, project and scene, I’d do it.’ I thought: ‘The only thing stopping me is my own discomfort with something.’”

9 Aaron and Bobby in Bros

The first big studio rom-com about gay men, written by and starring Billy Eichner, may have failed to light up the box office on its release last year. But we dare say the critically well-received movie will find new audiences through word of mouth in the future for its laugh-out-loud moments of humour.

One such scene, which featured heavily in the film’s trailer, involves main characters Aaron and Bobby sharing a romantic kiss after their first date. However, the camera then zooms out to reveal Aaron is simultaneously receiving a blowjob from two other men as he exchanges sweet nothings with his new boyfriend. Who says men can’t multi-task?

It is not the last time Aaron and Bobby are seen engaging in group sex over the course of the film, which is pleasantly surprising given the history of sanitised, straight-washed sex in film over the years. (We’re looking at you, Call Me By Your Name, and your camera that meanders out of the window when Elio and Oliver finally get it on.) That said, perhaps the funniest sex scene involves just the two of them that is part-muscle worship, part-wrestling match.

Reflecting on the movie in an interview with Attitude last year, actor Luke Macfarlane, who plays Aaron, said: “We got the right to go to a room full of shirtless guys and make out and take them home and not worry about getting sent to jail. That sexual liberation is important. And we did that. And Aaron’s out. But I think the other piece of it is the real work of the heart, to also feel love, and that is the harder part.”

Passages will receive a UK cinema release on 1 September and will be available to stream on MUBI from October.