Gay throuple share journey to becoming legally recognised as three dads to their kids
In 2017, Ian, Alan and Jeremy became the first polyamorous family ever named as legal parents of a child.
Words: Jamie Tabberer; picture: Facebook/Jeremy Allen Hodges
A gay throuple who made history after all three were named as fathers on their children’s birth certificates have opened up about their emotional journey.
Dr Ian Jenkins, Alan Mayfield and Jeremy Allen Hodges are dads to Piper, three, and Parker, 14 months.
The guys, who live in San Diego, California, entered a relationship as a trio eight years ago, when Jeremy joined Ian and Alan, who by that point had already been a couple for nine years.
“It was a pretty interesting, tense courtroom scene”
Speaking on The Morning Show this week, Alan said: “We weren’t sure that we could have all three of us on the birth certificate so it became a court process.
“It was a pretty interesting, tense courtroom scene where at first it seemed we were not going to be granted that and we asked to speak in court and plead our viewpoint and the judge ultimately changed her mind and granted us legal parentage for our child before she was born.”
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They kids call Ian ‘papa’, Jeremy ‘daddy’ and Alan ‘dada.’
Next month, Ian – a specialist in hospital medicine and a university professor – is to release a book describing his family’s journey named Three Dads and a Baby.
The synopsis tells how “as a closeted teen, Ian wondered if he would ever be able to live openly with a male partner. Years later, he had not one but two partners in a polyamorous Throuple – what more could he ask for? But something was still missing…
“Join Ian and his partners, Alan and Jeremy, as they embark on a sometimes hilarious, sometimes tearful quest to become parents. They run the gauntlet: IVF failures, the threat of Zika virus, the urgent hunt for a new doctor, pregnancy-threatening bleeds, costly legal battles and a reluctant superior court judge.
“Ultimately the grace of women – embryo donors, their egg donor, their surrogate, even a surprise milk donor – allow them to complete their family with one perfect girl, and become the first polyamorous family ever named as the legal parents of a child.”
“We’ve had zero pushback from anyone in our professional and personal lives”
In December 2020, Ian told HuffPost: “We did have a slight attention to the fact that our kids might be perceived differently. We didn’t want them to become a target of teasing or bullying or online abuse.
“[However] we’ve had zero pushback from anyone in our professional and personal lives. Our oldest now is in preschool, and the other parents and kids are like, ‘Cool! Tell us that story.’”
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