Table for Two | ‘Still not knowing his name feels awkward’

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Danny (left)
Age: 29
Occupation: Senior PR manager

Ryan (right)
Age: 31
Occupation: Advert producer

What were you hoping to get out of the date?

Danny: I thought it’d be an interesting alternative to the usual dating apps.

Ryan: Another couple of dates was definitely the goal. Dating has become a long line of expensive dinners with strangers.

What were your first impressions?

D: Warm, confident and totally unfazed by the whole thing.

R: That he was attractive and seemed very comfortable. He also arrived before me, which was excellent because I hate people being late.

How different was he to your usual type?

D: He is a really sweet guy but my usual type is… well, if you rock up in a band tee, covered in tattoos and piercings, I’m smitten.

R: My usual type is somebody who is confident and not trying to play it too cool. He lived up to this. His being more than 6ft tall helped as well – sometimes I can feel like a bodyguard on a date with a little person.

Would you have swiped left or right?

D: Left.

R: Right. I’d even have super liked him if he had his height in the description!

How was the conversation and what did you talk about?

D: It flowed easily enough. We talked about films and TV, our careers, where we grew up, his globe-trotting.

R: We touched all the usual bases: work, holidays, London homes, ambitions.

What was his best quality?

D: He’s a real adventurer. He has pursued his dreams and happily takes risks.

R: His ability to make good conversation and stay upbeat.

Photography: Markus Bidaux

What was the most interesting thing about him?

D: His former career as a stand-up comedian.

R: That he models for life-drawing classes and is going to feature in an upcoming exhibition.

Were there any deal-breakers?

D: His love of football.

R: Our worlds are very different. He loves RuPaul, poetry and seems very cultured, whereas I was aware during my second mouthful of steak that Arsenal had just kicked off in their Europa League semi-final.

What do you think he thought of you?

D: That I swear a lot.

R: Hopefully, that we had a fun night together but I’d imagine he didn’t feel that special spark either.

What were you most worried he would notice about you?

D: That I drink a lot when I’m nervous. I also may have overdone it on the aftershave.

R: The cut on my lip where I was hit in the face with a football earlier in the week.

How was the food?

D: Incredible.

R: If you are looking for good meat, this is the place to go.

Danny and Ryan dined at M Restaurant, Victoria Street, London

Any awkward moments?

D: He talked about himself quite a bit. It felt as if I was interviewing him at times.

R: I didn’t know the name of a trans activist he mentioned. Then again, he didn’t know Aubameyang and Lacazette — we gay Gunners have a place in the world too!

What did you make of his dress sense?

D: Really casual. In his words: “I didn’t mean to dress like a baseball player.”

R: I was wearing a baseball cap and similarly styled jersey. My concern was looking like a baseball edition of a Guess Who character, but he was wearing a varsity jacket so we were on the same page.

How did the night end?

D: We grabbed a drink at a pub nearby because we had just started talking about politics. I love meeting a fellow socialist.

R: We parted ways, saying we would be in touch, both of us knowing that at no point did we exchange details.

What would you have changed about the night?

D: There was no connection and so it wasn’t really a date.

R: I’d definitely have got him to introduce himself, as still not knowing his name feels awkward.

Snog, marry, avoid?

D: Avoid.

R: Isn’t there a “get his name” category?

Will you meet again?

D: I’d say hello if we bumped into each other.

R: I wouldn’t forward plan it.

Rate the date!

Danny: 4/10

Ryan: 7/10

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