X Factor contestant Tom Davies on men, apps and dating
He says he wants to be ‘The male Cheryl’, and London singer Tom Davies is well on his way, having scored four ‘Yes’s from the judges during his 2015 X Factor audition (including a glowing endorsement from Cheryl herself).
In our chat with the out gay singer – originally published in our Love & Marriage special issue, released earlier this year – Davies talks dating, sex, relationships and why the ‘Charlotte’ in him isn’t so keen on looking for love online…
Do you find dating in 2015 easy?
I think a lot of guys are trying to work and build career and set a solid grounding up and are all so busy. I, for example, am always either in the studio writing, in rehearsal, on tour, on a shoot, in a meeting, so finding time to go on a date is pretty tricky.
Are you the brave one or do you wait for guys to come to you?
I’m way too shy. Most people don’t believe it because I am very outgoing and confident and loud when I am out with friends, but outside that comfort circle I can be incredibly shy. I keep telling myself I need to grow a pair, but the reality is I wait. Maybe it’s from years of people coming to me with cheesy chat up lines or sleazy club attempts, who knows? Saying that this year, thinking about it, I have been much more confident and have just been a lot more open to talking to people.
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How do you normally meet guys?
Usually it’s friends or people I cross paths with. Theres also the “app” world – Tinder etc. – which is great if you’re going through a time where you’re not out very much or not around to meet new people. However, I think I have had the app for almost a year and I don’t know if I have had one date off it yet. Hmmm…
Do apps make dating less romantic?
Yes! Maybe it’s just the [Sex and The City] Charlotte in me, but I feel that romance is dying. There is so much available interaction via apps and social media now that the first first initial meeting doesn’t feel fresh and new because you could of been talking to that person every day for weeks.
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Have you had a dating disasters?
Ohhhh, many. The worst is when you finally meet someone off an app or social media and you arrive and realise they have edited every inch of their face and body in pictures and they actually look like something very very different from what you’re expecting. Or when you have a constant online flow of conversation with a guy and in person they are just unable to hold any type of conversation. It’s so awkward and uncomfortable. I had a guy tell me he was in love with me on our first date; that was very uncomfortable!
Any dating successes?
I had an incredible date once with a guy who took me out for a gorgeous meal at a top restaurant in London and then we took a very slow walk along the Thames back to his apartment where we drank champagne on the roof overlooking the London skyline. That was one of the best dates by far.
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What are you looking for in a guy?
I think everyone has an idea: funny, kind, generous, ambitious, tall, dark and handsome. But in reality, I don’t think you ever really know. I think it’s a feeling you get when you’re with a person. I mean that feeling or Douglas Booth, I’d settle for either.
Do you feel a pressure to get hooked up with someone as you get older?
I’m 25, and although I still feel pretty young, there is this very slight voice in the back of my head saying: it’s time to think about settling down, finding that one person, falling in love and thinking about the future. I think moreso actually, I am feeling more pressured in thinking about my future and I see a man in my future who I love and have been with for a very long time. So I think most of the pressure is coming from me. Not to mention I have a lot of friends, straight and gay, that are getting married all around me and its making me realise that it could be a possibility.
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Are most men looking for just one thing?
I think on most gay apps, the intention really is just for one thing. I don’t think they’re meant for finding love, and to be honest I think I would be mortified to fall in love and people ask, “Where did you meet?” for the answer to be Grindr. It’s just tacky – again, the Charlotte [in me]. But don’t get me wrong, the apps have their purposes and the Samantha in me loves it!
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