The White Lotus’ gayest ever moments, ranked
From quasi-uncle buggering to a bad bromance, is this the most homoerotic show of all time?
“Portia… these are some high ends gays!” So declares the deliciously camp, huskily-voiced Jennifer Coolidge as Tanya in The White Lotus SE2.
Close your eyes, suspend disbelief, and you can almost believe it’s Legally Blonde‘s Paulette Bonafonté who’s now a billionaire, rocking an Elizabeth Taylor-esque dress, and flanked by a small army of homos at the opera. (Emily in Paris‘ chic geek Luc among them. Genius casting!)
“These gays, they’re trying to murder me!’
Jen’s character alone is gay heaven. And she’s straight. Elsewhere, in what feels like a watershed moment for TV, director Mike White overloads an ostensibly mainstream show with gay energy that, intriguingly, has cis-het viewers ‘het’ up too, in a good way. (This is helpful: 2022’s ace Queer As Folk didn’t resonate widely enough to justify a second season.)
So, is The White Lotus low-key the gayest TV show ever? Not including Laura Dern’s cameo or an actual erupting volcano, here’s our analysis of both seasons.
Mild spoilers ahead.
8 Cameron and Ethan’s bad bromance
The first of two apparently platonic but clearly homoerotic friendships we’ll be unpacking.
“I love you. I just wanna be inside you; I wanna do stuff to you; I wanna make you feel good.” OK, after a night of drugged up debauchery, Theo’s pillow talk makes Ethan vomit. But sparks momentarily fly between these men who “probably” saw each other have sex as college roommates.
Then there are the kisses Cameron plants on Ethan’s cheek. “Those party scenes were actually very loosely scripted,” Will recently told Variety. “It was really improvisatory and they would cut it in the edit and use the most helpful bits.
“[Theo] loved doing that. I think it’s his way of being playful and sexually voracious and showing who’s boss in this weird way. It’s like a micro powerplay. But yeah, I noticed that too and would just react to it as I thought Ethan would.”
7 Olivia and Paula’s (hot) Cold War in The White Lotus SE1
Did it ever occur to you that Mean Girls‘ Cady and Regina may have had unresolved sexual tension? What you’re about to read, concerning frenemies Olivia and Paula, may make you reevaluate.
“I’ve definitely had people ask [if there’s something between them],” Brittany O’Grady, who played Paula, told the New York Times in 2021. “[She’s] having this experience with someone else when she’s supposed to be bonding with her best friend. I think that totally leans into it and kind of insinuates a romantic tension.”
Added Sydney: “To be honest, when we were doing it, I never thought of it. […] Now I’m watching, going, ‘Oh. Oh wow, Olivia.’”
6 Lucia and Mia’s fluid friendship
The most uncompromised relationship in The White Lotus is that of sex workers Lucia (Simona Tabasco) and Mia (Beatrice Grannò). Their friendship is palpable – they close the show gossiping and shopping arm-in-arm – but their ease around each other’s sexuality foreshadows Mia’s casual heteroflexibility. (Or possible bisexuality.)
They attempt a threesome with Michael Imperioli’s Dominic – they giggle and tease each other as they plan, and it’s charming – and almost have a foursome with Cameron and Ethan. Then, they seemingly get it on with Cam before waking up in a heap in his bed the next day.
“I’m a little bit gay too,” Mia later tells Valentina. “I think all women are.” Could this apply to Lucia?
5 Armond flipping (and flopping?) the script on Mark
Have you ever had a subtly condescending straight man ask you what anal sex ‘feels’ like? Armond’s response, when Mark asks exactly that in SE1, is what we wish we’d said in those moments. “You wanna find out?” he replies, a devilish glint in his eye. The look of surprise on Mark’s face is priceless – misinterpret Armond as submissive at your peril – and though his liquored-up haze, he surely considers it.
Mark’s wider story, involving a masculinity crisis after a ball-related health scare and learning his late father was gay and HIV positive, actually brings about some of the show’s gayest dialogue, with Olivia reassuring Mark: “Even if [grandpa] wasn’t a top, it doesn’t mean he was femme – he still could have been butch, dad!” “Maybe he was a bossy bottom,” Paula chimes in: Olivia adds: “Yeah, maybe grandpa was a power bottom! Does that make you feel better?” The girls know their lingo.
4 Tanya’s big gay boat trip from hell
“Siamo tutti gay!” (translation: ‘We’re all gay!’) announces the yacht captain when Tanya realises her new, fabulously attired BFFs are plotting against her. “Oh my god….” she replies, a grim look of resignation across her face. “Yes, this boat ride’s going to be even more iconic that the scattering-of-ashes-one last season,” she appears to think. What she literally utters is the immortal, meme-able line: “These gays, they’re trying to murder me!”
That she didn’t work out the gay mafia had a hit on her on finding Quentin and Greg’s Brokeback Mountain-inspired bedside snap was truly painful. And perhaps far-fetched. But it sets the wheels, or propellers, in motion for a truly satisfying climax. Amidst the chaos, one almost forgets: Greg is yet another character to add to the sexually ambiguous list.
3 Mia takes Valentina’s lesbian virginity
In a show full of grotesque characters and punishing imagery, Mia guiding the older Valentina (Sabrina Impacciatore) through her first same-sex sexual encounter was… pure. OK, maybe Mia did it solely for the singing job. (After almost killing her professional rival.) And maybe Valentina abuses her position of power in acquiescing. But the chemistry between them is joyful, so we hope it’s a real human connection.
In the finale, M promises V more lady-loving that evening. If they don’t enjoy a romantic relationship, we at least hope they’re hitting up Italy’s gay bars with Lucia in tow. Dream night out material!
2 Quentin and “naughty nephew” Jack
Unlike myriad superhero movies, TWL offers more than just queer-coding: it boasts some of the most unapologetic gay sex scenes in memory. It’s just another reason HBO is unrivalled in its agenda-setting TV output.
The White Lotus‘ SE2’s water cooler moment was a shocking, supposedly incestuous sex scene between Quentin and Jack. It’s somehow clear they’re not related, and all the more destabilising for it: Why the ruse? Most surprising was Tania’s under-reaction on catching them – you sense this is a woman who’s seen it all. (And still has the IQ of tap water.)
“It’s dirty… men are having sex and you have this Psycho music underneath. It just amuses me,” White, who’s bisexual, told Variety of the scene. “I just think transgressive sex is sexier. I guess I’m old school. There’s this Gothic vibe of walking through a haunted hotel or haunted house and people are having sex behind closed doors.”
1 Armond rims Dillon
Over two decades after Stuart performed tuchus lingus on Nathan in the first Queer As Folk, a depiction of the same act in 2021 once again generated a litany of shocked headlines.
“I love that it’s not something we see very often,” Murray Bartlett, whose White Lotus character eats out Lukas Gage’s Dillon in the scene, told Digital Spy.
“In terms of the function of the scene, I think the shock value of that for people who are not used to that kind of… configuration of intimacy [laughs], is really brilliant.”
He added: “It felt right in terms of the shock value. And it felt great in terms of: ‘Let’s show something that is a natural part of sex for a lot of queer people. It serves the scene in such a great way.”