DJ Barbara Butch: ‘I’m a fat, Jewish, queer lesbian, and I’m really proud’

My great-grandmother always told me that, ‘Everyone is beautiful; every body is beautiful.'” This message is one that Barbara Butch has carried with her since childhood. The French DJ, lesbian activist and body-positivity advocate has weathered homophobia, fatphobia and two abusive relationships over her 42 years. Despite this, she’s learned to take these negative experiences and turn them into something positive, at the same time spreading this ethos throughout the LGBTQ+ community via her love of music. She’s a very worthy recipient of an ICON award at the 2023 Attitude Pride Awards, in association with Magnum.

“Something bad is always something good. I go through life with this in my mind. When something bad happens to me, it happens for a reason; I learn from it.”

Growing up in a family of Jewish immigrants in Paris, Barbara’s upbringing was a traditional one.

“When you grew up in a Jewish family, you’re told when you’re a kid that you have to grow up and marry a Jewish guy and have a kid,” she explains.

Some of her family members were killed in the Holocaust, and she admits that this legacy “was a lot to take on my shoulders, even now”.

Unfortunately, anti-Semitism also formed part of Barbara’s childhood. Growing up in a “racist” neighbourhood, she would be taunted by local kids because of her family’s heritage.

“I met a girl and I moved with her to another city in France, to escape my reality.”

She eventually found a haven in the French Jewish Scouts, which she describes as a “safe space” with “poor and rich kids”. Here, she made her initial foray into music by learning to play the guitar. She also explored her sexuality through flings with fellow female scouts.

When Barbara was 18, she came out to her family and began her first serious relationship, leaving Paris to be with her new girlfriend. “I met a girl and I moved with her to another city in France, to escape my reality. But unfortunately, she was really violent with me, so it was a really hard first experience.”

After being rescued by her mother, Barbara eventually moved back to Paris, though the pain of her former relationship remained – and still does, today.

“When you’re told that you’re not enough, you’re too much, you’re disgusting, it stays forever – in your body and in your soul.

“I told myself it was never going to happen again, but it did [in a second relationship]. After that, it was hard to trust again and to be more confident, to respect myself and not let anybody else disrespect me,” says Barbara.

At 23, Barbara branched out on her own by opening a restaurant in the South of France. It was a short-lived venture, but it would define the rest of her life.

“On opening night, I had a DJ friend who offered to bring his decks and play some records. He never came back after that, but he left his equipment behind. I taught myself how to DJ with it.”

This serendipitous event led Barbara to appreciate how music “makes the people come together, like Madonna said”. In her restaurant, people of all backgrounds would joyfully eat, drink and dance – to tracks chosen by Barbara. It was a magical period in her life, but one that wouldn’t last forever. Less than three years in, she was forced to close the restaurant because of homophobia.

‘Get out – we don’t want lesbians here’

“I didn’t open a gay restaurant, but a lot of locals didn’t like that a gay person was running it. I got messages painted on the door, like ‘Get out – we don’t want lesbians here’, and if I put flags outside during Pride, people would pull them down.

Barbara also began to experience what she felt were unwarranted visits from inspectors, and even the police. She soon conceded defeat, shuttering her business and taking part-time DJing gigs to keep herself afloat. She eventually returned to Paris, working in a clothes shop over the next few years.

Then, in 2013, Barbara officially began her full-time DJing career, albeit playing small bars in Paris for a modest €50 a night. Over the next decade, her performances in venues across France helped amplify her reputation, not only as a prominent DJ, but also as an advocate for lesbian visibility and body positivity.

In 2021, Barbara was chosen as the face of Jean Paul Gaultier fragrance La Belle Intense, an event she regards as a major turning point in her life’s mission.

“Growing up, I didn’t have any role models as a lesbian. Lesbians were only shown in sex scenes in bad movies. I want to show all the lesbians who live everywhere that we exist, and we can do amazing things and we can make it,” she says.

“I’m a fat, Jewish, queer lesbian, and I’m really proud of all my identities, because they make me what I am now as a human. All the violence and negativity I’ve experienced, I can make it something bigger to help others go forward with a lot of love.” Now in a happy relationship with the “love of my life”, the ethos of transforming adversity into a catalyst for positivity has been fundamental to Barbara’s career, echoing the wisdom imparted by her great grandmother.

“I think my job is not only to make people dance, but to make people feel more confident and to give them the right to exist for who they are.”

The Attitude July/August issue is available to download and order now.