Munroe Bergdorf: ‘It’s extremely difficult to be trans in this country’

Model. Writer. Activist. And now, as the recipient of an Attitude Pride ICON Award, supported by Magnum, Munroe Bergdorf can officially add ‘icon’ to the list. But the honour leaves her a little dumbfounded. “Oh, God,” she exclaims, when asked why she thinks she’s deserving of the title. “Maybe I represent the under-represented, and l’ve showed that even when you have a lot stacked against you, you can forge a path for yourself as yourself.”

Strutting onto London’s club scene as a DJ and ‘It girl’, Munroe went on to make history as the first trans person to grace the cover of Cosmopolitan UK and to be hired as the face of L’Oréal – only to be dropped weeks after the announcement for taking to Facebook to vent about a white-supremacy rally in Charlottesville, Virginia. In the wake of the Black Lives Matter protests of 2020, she received an apology from the cosmetics giant. She’s also hosted her own TV show and podcast series, is a contributing editor at British Vogue; and rules every red carpet she sets foot on, to boot.

“If I couldn’t use my voice, then there wouldn’t be a point to any of it.”

For all the glitz (“I don’t view myself as a celebrity”), Munroe is a battle-worn warrior at heart, unafraid to put her head above the parapet to fight the good fight, whether she’s locking horns with Piers Morgan on TV and tackling a toxic, transphobic media, or calling out the UK government for targeting, weaponising and dehumanising trans lives – including the latest attempt to overhaul the Equality Act to define people’s sex as biological sex in England, Scotland and Wales. “If I couldn’t use my voice, then there wouldn’t be a point to any of it,” she says.

Munroe continues: “It’s extremely difficult to be trans in this country… [but] our community is always going to have that fighting spirit, because in order to survive as a trans person, in order to be trans, you literally need to fight for yourself. I feel that’s why so many trans people end up in the activist space, because to be trans is innately an act of resistance. You’re living in a society that constantly invalidates you, telling you that you don’t exist, making it next to impossible for you to access healthcare, to find someone who loves you without fetishising you, to be able to love yourself.”

Earlier this year, 36-year-old Munroe, who grew up in the Essex village of Stansted Mountfitchet, published her memoir-meets-social-commentary, Transitional. “There’s an element of vulnerability like nothing that I’ve ever felt,” she says about writing the book. “But I felt it was a way to turn all of the obstacles and difficulties and challenges that I’d experienced into something that could be a guide or source of empowerment for somebody that really needed it. Not many trans people get to tell their stories,” she explains. “I wanted to peel back the veil of glamour that my life can be perceived with… and talk about the journey that it took to be the person that I am today.”

“Even the most traumatic and difficult things, I’ve somehow found a lesson in them.”

One chapter sees Munroe revisit and relive a harrowing sexual assault. “It was the most brutal form of therapy that I’ve ever experienced because it was confronting,” she recalls. “Even the most traumatic and difficult things, I’ve somehow found a lesson in them, whether it be grief and loss, or abuse, or disappointment. I always try to think about, ‘What is this teaching me; how can this encourage me to be a better person, or a stronger person?… rather than feeling that this is breaking me further.”

That ability to find glimmers of light in the darkness is something Munroe nursed early on. “At the beginning of my transition, our options were greatly reduced, and there were so many of my friends that were involved in survival sex work,” she says. “The amount of girlfriends that I’ve lost to drug overdoses, to murder by their clients, to suicide – all sorts of awful situations. I just had this awareness that life is precious, and last year I lost my ex-girlfriend to suicide. It’s been a reminder about [how] life isn’t about shiny things, it isn’t about accolades, it isn’t about what you accumulate, or money, it’s really about just being happy and connecting.”

With great power (and a public platform) comes great responsibility, and the pressure of being such a prominent voice for the trans community has taken its toll on Munroe; in the past, she suffered burnout and was treated for anxiety and depression. But the work, she maintains, is worth it. Like when she receives messages from parents of trans children. “I’ve helped them see being trans as something beautiful that is allowing them to be there for their kid… that their kid’s transition is allowing them to gain a happy child, rather than a child that is miserable, or maybe, at worst, a child that will no longer be there,” Munroe, a patron for the Mermaids charity, notes.

“I would love to be a mother in the next five years”

Then there’s her friendship with young trailblazer Yasmin Finney, of Heartstopper – and soon Doctor Who – fame. “I’m old enough to be Yasmin’s mum – just,” Munroe laughs. “I’m somewhat of a media mum/big sister to her, and l’m really proud of how she’s holding herself and how she’s inspiring another generation… it feels like a passing of the baton, a little Madonna/Britney situation!”

Having pushed so many boundaries in her career, Munroe’s also finally found a sweet spot in her personal life. “I can honestly say I am the most consistently happy that I’ve ever been… I’m in the most incredible relationship that is so healthy, with a guy that encourages me to be the wholeness of myself; I have friends who hold me accountable, but who also hold me when I need to be held; and my relationship with my parents is probably the best it’s ever been,” she beams. When it comes to her next goal, it seems mum’s the word: “I would love to be a mother in the next five years, with a nice house in the countryside with lots of animals.” she says.

If anyone deserves a happy ending, it’s Munroe.

The Attitude July/August issue is available to download and order now.