RWS’ Steven Morgan says his son coming out was ‘a great help’ to coming out himself
In partnership with myGwork
Steven Morgan, Quality Assurance Director at RWS chats to myGwork about imposter syndrome, coming out later in life, and how his son inspired him to live authentically.
Steven describes his personal journey as a ‘jigsaw’ – one that cannot be completed until all the edge pieces are in place; only then can you start in the middle. Born in Greenwich in 1964, Steven’s family moved to Basingstoke when he was young, then to Reading, where he spent most of his childhood.
“Life was hard,” he says, looking back. “But the one thing that was clear was the love my parents had for each other and us three children.”
Growing up in Reading in the 70s and 80s was different from life today. Steven enjoyed playing outside and would often be gone all day without his parents worrying about the dangers that young people face today. Despite this, he shares that he was a bit of a loner without a strong circle of friends.
“I would probably say that this was the time that affected me the most with self-confidence and which ultimately led to a lack of self-worth. The most depressing point here was that I didn’t understand why.”
At just sixteen, Steven left school and began to wonder what he wanted out of life. Family had always been special to him, and having a family himself was one of the only things he knew he wanted in his future.
“In terms of my life being a jigsaw, I was having trouble finding all the edge pieces at this point”
It was the early 80s, and the HIV/AIDS pandemic was beginning, alongside a very negative attitude towards the LGBTQ+ community, including what you saw on the TV and in the papers. “Although at that stage I hadn’t even considered that I may be gay, it is clear now that being gay was not an option for what I wanted out of life,” Steven says.
It wasn’t until the age of 18 that Steven began to consider his sexuality – but rather than embracing this discovery, he instead found himself burying those feelings, inevitably impacting his self-confidence and self-worth. “In terms of my life being a jigsaw, I was having trouble finding all the edge pieces at this point.”
“After a few years of coming to terms with the life I was leading and having buried any thoughts of being gay, I met someone and was married in 1991, just after the birth of my son,” shares Steven. Life continued, and within a few years, their family was complete with the birth of Steven’s two daughters.
“Unfortunately, life wasn’t easy, as my wife had become a Jehovah’s Witness, which put a great strain on the marriage, which eventually ended in 2004,” Steven explains. “By this time, we were living in Northampton and away from our families, so support at that time was limited, which didn’t do anything to help my self-confidence and self-worth.”
A couple of years after the divorce, Steven met someone who he shared common interests with, and they ended up married. In hindsight, he realizes they should have remained friends, but it’s not always easy to see these things as they unfold.
“I needed to explore the side of me that I had buried so many years earlier”
After they then eventually separated, Steven rented a room in a shared house and, by chance, was sharing with mostly gay housemates. “During the weeks that I rented the room, I found myself thinking back to when I was 18 and wondering if I had made the right decision to bury my thoughts and feelings regarding my sexuality.”
His landlord had come out later in life and his story interested Steven. They were sat chatting one night when Steven decided to open up to him about his feelings about his sexuality. “This was probably the hardest and best decision I have made. We sat talking into the night and on numerous evenings after that, and it soon became clear to me that I needed to explore the side of me that I had buried so many years earlier.”
Once his divorce was finalised, Steven could finally explore his identity freely. He also came across GADS (gay and dads support), a support group for dads who have come out later in life. This was precisely what he needed, and he does not know what he would have done without them.
“It soon became obvious that I was gaining self-confidence and had more self-worth. This newfound confidence was affecting everything – not only in my personal life but also in my work life, and the imposter syndrome that I had struggled with all my working life dissipated as my confidence grew.”
Imposter syndrome had followed Steven from the beginning of his career. However, now Group Quality Director at RWS, it’s the first workplace he has been able to show up fully as himself and be accepted wholly.
“My son coming out and the reaction from the family was a great help to me”
From the very beginning, Steven has seen firsthand that at RWS, fostering an inclusive environment where employees can authentically express themselves is not just a goal but a fundamental principle. This commitment to diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) is evident through various initiatives and support structures, including dedicated DEI pillars such as the LGBTQ+ Group.
As a leader within this pillar, Steven has seen the power of community and allyship in creating a workplace where everyone feels valued and respected. The network’s efforts extend beyond mere acknowledgment of Pride Month or World AIDS Day, but they actively engage in policy development, training programs, and awareness campaigns to drive meaningful change.
After a negative experience at his previous workplace, Steven’s journey at RWS has been transformative and he has found a deep sense of belonging. His experience is a testament to RWS’s genuine commitment to inclusivity, where being LGBTQ+ isn’t just accepted but celebrated as part of the fabric of the company culture.
Coming out, for Steven, came with many challenges, but the biggest was coming to terms with it himself. His son had come out to the family many years before at just sixteen, so in some ways, Steven feels as though his son pathed the way, inspiring him to also be true to himself.
“I will finally be able to say that my jigsaw is complete”
“On reflection, my son coming out and the reaction from the family was a great help to me, as I didn’t have any issues with telling my family once I had made my decision. So, I owe a lot to him for breaking the ground and enabling me to come out without the added pressure of how my family would react.” Then, in the summer of 2019, Steven met Anthony. Although they lived in different areas of the UK, the pair soon called each other every night and visited every weekend they could. In December that same year, Steven moved to Kent to be with Anthony. It was a leap of faith in many ways, but it was one of Steven’s best decisions.
“When we first sat down and talked about what we wanted from a relationship and our lives, we made a five-year plan, and in July this year, exactly five years from the day we met, we are getting married. I will finally be able to say that my jigsaw is complete.”
From the challenges of navigating societal expectations and burying his true identity to finding the courage to embrace his authentic self, Steven’s story is one of perseverance and growth. Through the support of his family, communities like GADS and the inclusive environment fostered at RWS, Steven found acceptance and a newfound confidence that permeated every aspect of his life.
Steven’s journey inspires all those who may be grappling with their own identities, reminding us that it’s never too late to embrace who we truly are and find the love and acceptance we deserve.