Meet the Rimmers, stars of queer, Jewish club night Buttmitzvah

On a chilly early December night, over 2,000 people graced London’s Troxy dressed as menorahs, pickles, candles, latkes and various iterations of Jews. It was the latest instalment of the infamous queer, Jewish club night Buttmitzvah that has grown exponentially since its inception just a few years ago. 

In the Troxy’s grand theatre, a huge screen played a carousel of footage featuring an actual bat mitzvah, the coming-of-age ceremony for Jewish girls at age 12 (13 for boys).

The room was pounding with a playlist combining ‘Hava Nagila’ (obvious) Rachel Stevens (Jewish) and the Black Eyed Peas song ‘I Gotta Feeling’ (because it includes the word “mazeltov” in its lyrics).

“I am gay and have a strong Jewish identity – I wanted to bring both together” – Buttmitzvah’s Josh Cole

It’s fair to say this is one of the more unique club nights out there. It’s based on the essence of a bar or bat mitzvah, oozing the bratty garishness of an MTV-esque sweet sixteen bash mixed with the glitzy extravagance of a huge wedding. The show is the brainchild of Josh Cole, head of Comedy at BBC Studios. “I am gay and have a strong Jewish identity. I wanted to bring both together,” he’s said of how Buttmitzvah came about. “Also, I really wanted to capture the incredibly camp and joyous elements of a Bar Mitzvah and bring people together for something incredibly inclusive.”

This inclusivity is central to the night. Despite its apparent niche, Buttmitzvah attracts queer and non-queer people alike: Jews and non-Jews, celebrities, Gen Z-ers, pensioners, and people of all races and ethnicities. According to the main hosts of the event, the Rimmers, this makes complete sense. The semi-parody, culturally Ashkenazi (white Eastern-European), north London Jewish family is made up of mum, Gaye Rimmer, played by arts performer turned tech whizz Alex Eisenberg in drag and dad Mervyn, played by screenwriter and TV producer Tom Joseph. Then, bat mitzvah-age Becky, depicted with astonishing energy by comedian Candy Gigi.

As well as attracting a diverse crowd, inclusivity shows up in numerous other ways as well. Hosts welcome folks through the foyer doors with smiles, offering bagels and pickles. There are people acting as a meeting point for any lone partiers. A sign language interpreter grooves deliciously to Becky Rimmer’s rendition of ‘All I Want For Christmas is Jews’. People frolic round in everything from floor-length gowns to gold budgie smugglers with huge, painted Stars of David on their chest. There is an overwhelming feeling of, anything goes as long as it’s safe and kind.

The Rimmers also roam the hallways during the first hour or so, greeting guests as you would at a bar mitzvah: with a kiss on each cheek and a cockney-inflected, “How’s the family?” Throughout the night they take over the stage, performing semi-improvised skits and impressive songs. They also judge the fancy dress competition, which was won this time by a man dressed in a traditional Orthodox Jewish outfit (but with tinsel adorning his hat and shoes.)

The Rimmers are entertaining, outrageous, hilarious and grotesque. To many, they are also deeply familiar. A hysterically accurate, if hyperbolic, portrayal of the north London Jewish family with its ailments and arguments, and obsession with food, cleanliness and finding a good bargain.   

Though known for their role in Buttmitzvah, the Rimmers also make and produce short films, skits and music videos. They even won first prize at Courts Mais Trash Queer Film Festival 2021 in Brussels for the short film Personal Shopping. It was filmed on an iPhone in the beating heart of Jewish London, the Brent Cross shopping centre. Though Candy Gigi has an infant child of her own, the family are so convincing they’ve almost had the police called on them for being “abusive” to their “child”. Though it seems ridiculous, it’s also understandable how this could happen. There’s something heart-warming and utterly believable about the Rimmers – it’s part of what makes their performance so special.   

The Rimmers as they are today came together around the time of Corbyn’s Labour Party leadership, which was accompanied by an increasing sense of antisemitism pervading British society. At the time, some members of the Jewish community felt that the way the Rimmers portrayed Jewishness was unhelpful in the face of this racism. But the trio strongly disagrees. Being the Rimmers “releases us from something that as Jews, particularly British Jews, we felt a little bit straitjacketed by, which is essentially our history,” Eisenberg explains.

Candy Gigi agrees. “I think what the past few years have done is taken away our sense of humour as Jews. Because we’ve been so bogged down with trying to convince people that antisemitism exists,” she says. “I’ve really felt that we’ve lost our identity.” There’s so much more that Jewish people want others to know about the culture that doesn’t revolve around combatting racism, but there are few spaces to express this. Buttmitzvah is certainly one of them, and the Rimmers encapsulate this too. In many ways, these alternative expressions and portrayals of Jewishness are an antidote to the heaviness and intensity of the conversation so many Jewish people are forced into.

“We laugh in the face of antisemitism – that’s really important” – Buttmitzvah’s Candy Gigi

This feels particularly poignant in the wake of the Trumpist alt-right and Kanye’s latest Hitler love-bombing (which is confusing at best, not least because his adoration of Hitler would not have been reciprocated). The queerness of it all is also crucial, similarly celebrating a community that is still heavily oppressed, over-policed and the target of hatred. For Eisenberg and Joseph, coming out as young, Jewish men was difficult in a culture that is traditionally bound by gender binaries and heteronormativity.

They did so in the early 00s, when the AIDS crisis didn’t yet feel too distant. “There was a lot of shame,” Eisenberg says. But playing Gaye Rimmer has been and remains “totally liberating and totally joyous.” Comments on social media from attendees of Buttmitzvah reflect this same sentiment. “Celebrating Jewishness and queerness amidst the antisemitism and homophobia that won’t fuck off is exactly what we need,” one comment reads. “I hope that any queer jews in attendance felt as at home and celebrated as they deserve,” reads another.

‘All I Want For Christmas is Jews’ is one of a few songs that the Rimmers performed on the night. It’s Tom Joseph’s favourite. “I love Jews all shapes and sizes,” the lyrics go. “Sephardi, frum [Orthodox], Ashkenazi/Jews with big medium and small noses/Jews with lots and no money/Jews who were in Nazi Germany/Jews who just reject their faith/Jews who aren’t afraid of Corbyn/Jews who think he’ll end our race.”

The song captures the nuance pundits, reporters and much of the general public often miss: that Jews are not a monolith. “Especially in the media during the Corbyn era, there was a lot of broad brushstrokes. Saying, this is what Jews think about this, Jews are upset about that,” Joseph explains. “But anyone who’s been around a Jewish Friday night [dinner] table knows that no group of Jews agree on anything… I felt semi-emotional at that song. I’m so proud that it’s being enjoyed and seen by such a mass of people.”

It has been an exhausting decade for British Jews, and it doesn’t look like that is set to change any time soon. But there is Jewish joy to be found. “For me, being able to shine a light on the fact that we are funny, that we laugh at ourselves and we laugh in the face of antisemitism – that’s really important,” says Gigi. “I think the most important thing that Buttmitzvah does is remind people that we’ve got a fantastic sense of humour. When we’re not talking about antisemitism, we’re able to just love our culture.”

Follow Buttmitzvah @buttmitzvah13 and @therimmers13 for updates on upcoming events. Candy Gigi will perform her show ‘Friday Night Sinner’ from 3rd- 20 May 2023 at the Soho Theatre.