‘I’d never been ill before – then I got cancer twice and my life changed completely’

In the summer of 2015, I was visiting my family in France, when I decided to get what I thought would be a completely routine check-up with my old family GP.

I’d not long turned 50, so this included a PSA blood test for prostate cancer. I didn’t think anything of it at the time. But it raised some major red flags, and after some more tests I was told I had aggressive prostate cancer.

I was massively shocked – I’d never been ill before – and I’d had no symptoms or any sign anything was wrong. Something I now know is actually quite normal for prostate cancer. I had surgery straight away and recovered well. But sadly it turned out to be too late, and the cancer had already started to spread. Consequently, I had radiotherapy. Since then I have been monitored regularly, with intermittent hormone therapy to keep the cancer at bay.

“I’ve also been working with other men who’ve joined me and found that pottery can help them too”

I tried to get on with my life, despite the pressure of the treatment and the knowledge I was going to be living with prostate cancer for the rest of my life. But two years later came another shock. I noticed blood in my urine and I was diagnosed with a totally separate tumour in my stomach. Luckily this was removed by surgery.

Although this was treated successfully, the whole experience took a huge toll on my mental health. My marriage of 12 years broke down. I fell into a deep depression. I tried everything. Psychotherapy, anti-depressants… But I still didn’t feel like things were improving.

I knew I needed to give myself some way of dealing with all this trauma. And I thought back to how much I’d love doing pottery as a child.

I decided to take it up again. The impact on my wellbeing has been incredible.

Although I started off slowly, after lots of practice I plucked up the courage to put on my first exhibition. It was called ‘EXAMINATIONS’, which showcased the work I’d done based on my experiences with cancer.

These pieces can be pretty out there. There’s one that looks like spaghetti. It represents the cancer spreading out of the prostate, while another has ‘rolls’ going in loads of different directions that represent my radiotherapy treatment coming at the cancer from all angles.

The idea is to help people understand more about what’s happening inside their bodies. My pottery is a unique way to do that. I’ve also been working with other men who’ve joined me and found that pottery can help them too. I want to keep exhibiting as much as I can so I can reach as many people as possible and speak to them about prostate cancer.

Raising awareness is very important to me, especially to members of the LGBTQ community. When I was going through it all, I opened up about my experience to my LGBTQ friends. They were incredibly supportive. I used to be a part of the Gay Men Dance Company. I shared my story to other members on stage at a show at Troxy in London, which was a very positive experience. And I felt I did my community proud, by making them aware of prostate cancer.

The more we talk about this disease, the better, because it can carry a lot of stigma. We must recognise that it’s the most common cancer in men. One in eight men will get diagnosed in their lifetime and it doesn’t discriminate based on your race, religion or sexual orientation. We all need to be aware of the risks.

“I was always shown respect and didn’t face any negativity when my partner came with me to consultations”

I understand members of the LGBTQ community may feel worried about experiencing discrimination if they approach their GP. But I was positively surprised by how consultants, surgeons, nurses and radiographers treated me. I was always shown respect and didn’t face any negativity when my partner came with me to consultations or visited me on the ward. While this might not be the case for everyone, please remember there is support out there if you do face any discrimination.

I now want to continue raising awareness, which is why I’ve got involved with Prostate Cancer UK’s latest campaign called ‘What on earth is a prostate?!’ It tackles the myths and misinformation surrounding the disease, taking place during Men’s Health Week.

This is a very significant date for me, as Men’s Health Week ends on the 19 June which is my birthday. I’m 58 this year and it will be nearly eight years since my diagnosis.

I’ll also be getting married to my partner, the love of my life, the following week on the 23 of June. I’m so happy. Thanks to his support and many others, my outlook on life has changed, despite not being fully clear from cancer. I feel much more confident looking towards the future.

I also want other men to have a bright future too. So many men like me have no idea that you can’t just wait for symptoms. It’s why I’d tell everyone to be aware of their risk and take Prostate Cancer UK’s 30 second risk checker to find out more. They also have an amazing team of Specialist Nurses you can call. Plus, brilliant support specifically for gay and bisexual men on their website, which I’d recommend to anyone in the community who’s been diagnosed themselves.

Catching prostate cancer early saves lives. Separate fact from fiction. Check your risk today at prostatecanceruk.org/riskcheck.