‘Nearly normalised’: Almost 1/4 of men reporting domestic abuse are in same-sex couple, study finds

A domestic abuse charity in Northern Ireland has said that 12% of the men accessing its services are in same-sex relationships.

A spokesperson for the Men’s Advisory Project Northern Ireland, a charity that provides support for male experiencing domestic abuse, shared the figures with the Belfast Telegraph.

“Between 8-12% of the people we see every year are gay or bisexual men, or people who don’t identify as gay or bi, but who have sex with men,” said Rhonda Lusty, chief executive of the Men’s Advisory Project Northern Ireland.

“We see the largest number of gay men come to us for abuse.”

One in three people experiencing domestic abuse are men, with Lusty, saying that in July this year, the organisation received around 50 significant calls a week in general from men seeking help.

“For anybody who comes to us from the LGBTQ+ community, we would have always made sure they were aware of other specific services and support organisations, such as the Rainbow Project and Cara-Friend,” she said.

“As long as they need help, we will be there for them” – Rhonda Lusty, chief executive of the Men’s Advisory Project Northern Ireland

According to the domestic abuse charity Reducing the Risk, around 25% of LGBTQ+ individuals have experienced violent, abusive or threatening relationships with partners or ex-partners.

As with all domestic abuse, however, abuse that occurs in same-sex relationships is under-reported.

“We have had a fair few cases where not everyone in a man’s life might know that they are gay, and they are then being abused by the person they are having sex with, in terms of threatening to ‘out’ them to their whole community,” Lusty said. “We also see a lot of violence within same-sex relationships, and it’s nearly normalised.”

A 2023 study published by the LGBT+ anti-abuse charity Galop found that 61% of LGBTQ+ survivors of domestic abuse did not seek support following an instance of abuse by a family member, partner or ex-partner.

Of that number, 41% did not seek help because they did not know that support was available.

To encourage men experiencing domestic abuse in a same-sex couple to come forward, Lusty said that the Men’s Advisory Project had included a rainbow flag in all their posters.

“[People’s] needs will be cater for and there should never be a question as to whether we will help them or not, whether they are gay, bi, trans, pansexual, asexual. As long as they need help, we will be there for them,” she said.

“We make referrals now for LGBTQ+ specific organisations if people talk about struggles with their sexuality and things that we maybe aren’t specialised in, but we have counsellors here who are gay and counsellors who have done pink therapy qualifications.”

If you are in Northern Ireland and experiencing abuse, you can contact the Men’s Advisory Project by calling 028 9024 1929 (Belfast) or 028 7116 0001 (Foyle).

Those needing support in the rest of the UK can contact:

We Are Survivors – 24/7 support line: 0808 500 2222 / support@wearesurvivors.org.uk

Survivors UK – 020 3598 3898 / help@survivorsuk.org / one-to-one chat / Chat via SMS on
020 3322 1860

Samaritans – 116 123 / jo@samaritans.org / online chat

National Domestic Abuse Helpline, run by Refuge – 24/7 freephone on 0808 2000 247

Galop – 0800 999 5428/ help@galop.org.uk