Teen asks for advice after brother blackmails him into breaking up with boyfriend

Growing up gay in a conservative household is never easy – and if your unsympathetic siblings find out before your parents do, it can make things even more complicated.

A 15-year-old boy with one such dilemma took to Reddit over the weekend to ask the internet for advice, after his 18-year-old brother found out he was gay and blackmailed him into not only breaking up with his boyfriend, but cutting him out his life completely.

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With the threat of both he and his ex being outed to their parents if he didn’t agree, the teen complied with his older brother’s threat, only to find himself in a miserable and unsustainable situation. First picked up by The GailyGrind, read what he had to say below:

My brother found out that I’m gay by looking through my phone and reading texts between me and my boyfriend. He confronted me about it and said that I had to break up with my boyfriend and start dating girls or he’ll tell my parents about me and tell my boyfriend’s parents about him. He screenshotted my texts and some pictures from my phone and have it saved somewhere.

I’ve been going along with it for a while, I broke up with my boyfriend and I’ve even gone on a couple of dates with a girl, but that didn’t really go very well. I tried talking to my brother about it but he just said that he’s trying to help me and that one day I’ll realize that this is the best thing for me and that he’s doing it out of love.

I’ve considered just telling my parents but I know they’d just send me away to one of those pray the gay away camps or they would just kick me out.

I’ve been trying to just go along with it but I feel horrible about going out with girls when I know that I’ll never truly like them in that way and I really, really miss my ex-boyfriend. I tried meeting him once secretly but my brother found out somehow (I have no idea how he found out about it) and was really close to telling my parents. He’s convinced that he’s doing the right thing but I don’t think I can keep doing this anymore and I have no clue what I should do.

Replying to someone who advised him to try and keep in contact with his ex-boyfriend, he added: “He knows why I broke up with him. We’ve talked twice since I broke up with hm, but it’s too risky now.

“I did try to talk to him, but I’m trying to find information on homosexuality and Christianity so that maybe I can try to convince him that me going out with girls is doing more harm than good and that me being gay isn’t really a bad or sinful thing.”

Reddit users quickly flocked to offer sympathy and advice, with many suggesting ways for the boy to get through the situation safely.

“Definitely look into online resources like the Trevor Project,” one wrote. “Have a backup plan if things don’t go well. Know where you can go to be safe, and how you can get there.

“Aside from that, my best advice is to not show fear. If you shrink back even a bit, your brother will see that he has power over you. But if you can speak back intelligently and clearly, you’ll come off as someone who knows what he’s talking about and isn’t the one who needs help here.”

Others said it would only be a matter of time before his brother outed him, and that he should take away his power by coming out first.

“This behavior is not going to stop so long as he has ammo. You already know he is going to do this to you. You just don’t know when”, one user wrote.

Another suggested that he simply fight fire with fire.

“Dig up some dirt on your brother. I bet there are things he doesn’t want mommy and daddy to know about. I admit this isn’t a nice way of doing things, but he isn’t exactly playing nice is he? Maybe if you have something to hold against him he’ll realize that what he is doing is despicable.”

Any other suggestions?

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