Alternative queer club Polyglamorous is Brighton’s LGBTQ late-night hot-spot

Words: Jamie Tabberer; pictures: Jack Ball

“Have you seen the state of her body? (Mad) If I beat it I ain’t wearing a johnny…” “Wrong crowd!”

The former is a rap by the Eminem-lite ArrDee on Russ Millions and Tion Wayne’s straight lad anthem ‘Body (Remix)’; the latter a gender-queer dresser’s screamed response when the rap makes an inexplicable cameo in an otherwise flawless selection of edgy pop, dance and RnB at Polyglamorous, a joyously inclusive, utterly riotous, monthly club night in Brighton.

One other quick sour note before we get to effusive praise: when going through security at glossy, new-ish venue Chalk, we are less than impressed to have our ID scanned and stored. (When asked how long it will be held for, one door staff member replies: “I don’t know.”) 

Nevertheless, ‘Venus’, a zany hidden gem from Lady Gaga, soon helps to dispel our annoyance.

Then, how about this for a holy trinity of deliciously bizarre pop bangers: Camille Jones vs Fedde Le Grand’s ‘The Creeps’, Infernal’s ‘From Paris to Berlin’ and will.i.am and Britney Spears’ ‘Scream and Shout’.

We dance in a stupefied state that’s somewhere between a zombie and a robot.

There are some expertly selected golden oldies, too — despite the crowd’s median age being roughly a fresh-faced 22 — such as ABBA’s ‘Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! (A Man After Midnight)’ and Crystal Waters’ ‘100% Pure Love’. (Thank you, Drag Race).

Doja Cat’s spiky mission statement ‘Boss Bitch’ provokes the biggest reaction, however.

At times, I feel I am rubbing shoulders with 900 of said star’s crazily dressed brothers, sisters and wombmates in general. Stylistically speaking, Polyglamorous is a world sprung directly from a Doja mood board, with Artpop-era Gaga thrown in for good measure.

The evening’s dress code is ‘send nudes’; in addition to skin tone-matching ensembles and, naturally, bare flesh, one partygoer wears an iPad taped to their stomach, inviting strangers to scan a barcode to have their naked photos displayed on its scrolling gallery.

“Polyglamorous was born out of our team of eight feeling like there was a lack of diverse, queer, nightlife spaces for us,” explains Emily Meow, who co-founded the night with Alfie Ordinary, Alex Spinks, Prudence Rae, Bertie Clarke, Conor England, Lydia L’Scabies and Rococo Chanel.

 

This might seem hard to believe in the UK’s answer to San Fran, but you’d be surprised at the slim pickings beyond behemoths like Legends. “We’re a combination of nightlife, art, fashion, music, and dance,” Meow continues.

“We wanted to dance, dress extravagantly and listen to the queer music that inspires us, brings us together. We want to provide that space for other queer people in Brighton, for self-discovery, to form connections with like-minded people, to feel free.

“Polyglamorous started in 2018 in a small venue in the arches of Brighton Seafront called Pop Vault,” Meow adds. “Seventy-two people turned up, all wearing red, and danced until 3 am on a Monday morning.

The night was quickly moved to a Friday, then to a bigger club called Above Charles Street. We started decorating the club and buying smoke machines and lasers to make the space feel more immersive and fit our themes.”

It appears to be a winning formula: the stage is a hive of activity, with headless mannequins, DJs seized by fits of passion, and a revolving door of absolutely spectacular freestyle dancers.

Also onstage are two teetering drag queens in Polaroid (nude) picture dresses being generally entertaining. It’s a welcome change from the disruptive effects of your typical club drag shows — although in the early hours local performer Tayris Mongardi takes to the stage and is rapturously received.

Even the official photographer is sucked into the organised chaos, contorting their body to get the shot; so too is the security guard in the wings, furiously bopping his head along to the music.

But his presence is barely required: these sweet, excitable kids are ushering in the third Summer of Love. Put simply, the energy in the room is catching.

There’s plenty to adore about this club night, not least that pints of Chalk’s own-brand pilsner sell for £5, but what we really love is that it makes us feel 10 (maybe even 15) years younger. Now, if only we could bottle that feeling and take it home…

Polyglamorous. Monthly, 11 pm-4 am Chalk, 13 Pool Valley, Brighton BN1 1NJ

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