Attitude clinic | Dr Christian answers your sex and health questions
By Will Stroude
Each month in Attitude, our health expert Dr Christian Jessen answers your medical queries, including the sort of intimate sex questions many are too embarrassed to ask their own doctors. Read on to find out his advice…My boyfriend and I have made the decision to be exclusive. If we get tested for HIV and the test comes back negative, is it okay to have unprotected sex? Brian, Galway
This seems to be a common thing and I’m glad you asked. Provided you have waited for the appropriate window since you guys last had sex then this is something that many couples do; The window period is 28 days for a test to be truly accurate. Therefore, I would suggest getting tested once, wait for the period to pass and get tested a second time, just to make sure. There is a huge degree of trust and you should try and have a monogamous relationship. Any sex out with the relationship should be with a condom so that you don’t put your partner at risk. Remember and be careful.
I’m an incredibly jealous person and struggle to see my partner go on nights out with friends in the fear that something happens. Can I fix this?
Jon, Wanstead
Jealousy is a tricky emotion that can cause huge problems in relationships. The best way to solve the issue is to explore why you are feeling jealous. Does it stem from low self-esteem? Relationships where ex-partners have had affairs can add to this and trusting subsequent partners can be an issue. But this issue is manageable if you just talk to your partner; accusing your partner too much might well drive him away. I think you’d be best to explore the jealousy and seek help if you feel you need to manage your issues better; your GP should be able to help with this.
I’m worried my flatmate drinks too much but I don’t know how to bring this up with him? How do I know he’s an alcoholic? How can I help him?
Luke, Inverness
It’s a tricky issue. Depends how close you are to your flat mate. If you’re good friends, you should be able to just say gently that you’re worried. It may be that he’s very aware that he has the problem; he might be using alcohol to hide other issues or his unhappiness with life. Exploring the issues with him might help him realise the extent of his problem. The definition of being an alcoholic is different for everyone. Obviously if he’s drinking during the day and in the morning there is a real problem. Maybe talk about how he’s feeling and talk about his problems rather than going straight to the drinking too much. Maybe take a look on the NHS Website for some advice on assessing your flat mate and whether or not he needs help. Maybe even suggest that he take a look at it for some advice.
Didn’t know?
Alcohol recommendations: The government’s recommended alcohol intake for men has now been reduced to 14 units a week – the same as women. This amounts to 6 pints of beer or 7 glasses of wine per week.
You can read more from Dr Christian in Attitude’s April Issue – available in shops, to download now at pocketmags.com/attitude, and to order from newsstand.co.uk.
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