Attitude’s newest columnist Jemal Polson on racism within the gay scene
Writer Jemal Polson (pictured below) is the newest addition to Attitude Magazine! His debut column for the mag appears in the new issue – with Liam Payne on the cover – which is in shops tomorrow and available digitally right now from attitudedigital.co.uk.Here, in a column written exclusively for Attitude online, Jemal shares his own experiences with racism in London’s gay scene…
In recent months, YouTuber Aaryn James and Author and Equality Consultant Vernal Scott have written for Attitude about their experiences dealing with racism within the LGBT community. Offering varied, insightful (and obviously slightly uncomfortable) accounts as to what many man have to deal with, the two have been able to shed light on what I believe one of the most pressing issues plaguing the LGBT community.
According to a poll conducted by FS Magazine, 80% of black and minority ethnic (BME) men have dealt with racism on the gay scene. While we can all agree the number is horrifically high, I for one cannot say I find it surprising.
In my time on the scene, I’ve heard a shocking amount of racism coming from the mouths of mostly white gay men. This includes comments that have been made in front of me, behind my back, and of course on the screens of just about every dating app going.
If you’ve spent even a little time on one of these apps, you’ve probably come across profiles that state that a person is not “into” Asian men, black men, or men belonging to a number of other ethnic groups.
Let me speak from experience here. There was an instance on Tinder where I matched with a relatively good-looking white chap. I said “Hi”, to which I got the instant reply: “I’m not attracted to black guys, sorry”. When I asked why he’d swiped right in the first place, he told me he “must’ve done it by mistake”. I wish I still had the screencaps to prove it, but I actually ended up deleting the whole conversation because I didn’t actually want a visual reminder of the whole sour encounter.
I didn’t have the energy to explain why statements like that make him incredibly ignorant, so I just unmatched him. Sadly, it wasn’t the first time I’ve experienced this on an app.
Of course, there have been instances where I’ve been spoken to specifically because I am black. These men just can’t wait to tell me how much they love black men or to start making overly familiar statements about certain parts of my body (I’m sure you can guess which part in particular).
I’ve often heard people say “I can’t be racist, I’m gay”. So often, statements like that are used to try and justify the sweeping generalisations, hurtful, demeaning remarks and so-called “jokes” made by others. Of course a gay person can be racist.
Something else I hear over and over again is that everyone has their “preference”. However, there is a difference between favouring an aesthetic quality in someone and completely writing off a whole race of people. An example of a preference would be stating that you prefer someone over 5 ft. 11, or someone with brown eyes. You’re picking out a quality that you find attractive for one reason or another, but you’re still open to those who don’t fit that exact description. On the other hand, saying that you’re not attracted to people belonging to a certain ethnic background – whether it’s based on physical attribute or any other – is in my eyes, extremely prejudice.
If you’re not even willing to look past someone’s race or skin colour for one second to see how intelligent, funny or charming they may be, it makes you incredibly ignorant. But on the other hand, displaying a fixation on a particular race solely based of their physical attributes can be read as racial fetishism.
There are many who disguise and deny their prejudice. To a degree, it makes sense – who would actually want to openly admit that they harbour racist views? But in order to progress, those who carry small-minded opinions need to really ask themselves why they have them in the first place. Only from there can they begin to open their minds up to becoming less prejudice and ignorant people.
Concurrently, I’ve lost count on the amount of gay white men I’ve seen appropriate black culture – specifically playing up to and adopting stereotypical character traits connected with their favourite reality TV stars and internet celebrities. American Journalist Sierra Mannie wrote a piece on the matter last year, detailing about just how offensive this actually is.
Of course, I’m not saying that everyone who has only dated someone inside their own race is racist and not everyone who has only dated those belonging to other races are fetishists. What I am saying is that what one person considers a “preference” or an “honest comment” can be read as ignorant and in extreme cases, racist.
I don’t have a definitive answer as to why so many men feel as though they can say what they say. Perhaps many gay men think that because they’ve faced certain hardships over their sexuality that it gives them a “free pass” to say whatever they want? Whatever the reason, there is no excuse for it. Our eyes need to be opened towards the racial prejudice that spreads within the LGBT community and as a whole.
What people need to understand is that racism, racial prejudice and ignorance come in so many different forms – and they aren’t as clear-cut as you might think.