Former Blue Peter presenter Adam B on how his boyfriend and Heartstopper inspired him to come out

Words: Alastair James; pictures: Provided and Instagram/@adambyt

At 22, Adam B has spent the last 10 years sharing that life with his 3.43 million subscribers on YouTube. Add to that his more than 800,000 TikTok and his 257,000 Instagram followers, and it’s safe to say it’s pretty easy to find out a lot about Adam.

But at the end of July Adam decided to share on a deeper, more personal level. Waving a Progress Pride flag at the camera and with a hint of his characteristic grin he told us all, “I’m gay”.

Known as something of a prankster (since coming out he’s tricked his family to think he was getting married to his boyfriend, Dom, in Las Vegas) Adam is not known for being terribly serious on his channel, which currently boasts a total of 598,705,810 views and counting.

But as he revealed when he and I sat down to talk about his announcement, he took this news very seriously.

As we chat in a delightfully bougie office located opposite Liberty’s with throngs of people milling below us on London’s Regent Street I wonder out aloud whether sharing his life on YouTube made coming out any easier?

“No, it felt the opposite,” he shares. “It felt harder because people saw me as this prankster who’s always having a good time. For me to make quite a personal video detailing quite big personal news, and getting quite emotional, it was very much a departure from my usual content.”

If anything, having that audience made coming out harder. “What’s that saying? It’s like the further up you are the further you can fall or something like that. I’ve built this career on pranks and challenges, and I have quite a young audience, so I felt a huge fear to do that.”

Still, Adam is glad he’s shared and that his audience know him fully now. He doesn’t take that connection for granted, and in contrast to his prankster side, he displays a mature approach.

“Growing up through YouTube you have a responsibility to conduct yourself in a certain way, especially with a younger audience. But now I’ve taken on this whole other responsibility of being someone that people look up to and that’s so special and very important to me because I know how they’re feeling.”

Adam grew up in Derry, Northern Ireland. His second cousin is another famous Derry-an – Girls Aloud’s Nadine Coyle, the Gemini. She’s been “super supportive” since his coming he tells me and “would’ve been disappointed if I wasn’t gay,” he laughs.

He first realised he might be gay at an all-boys secondary school. Being surrounded by such a “masculine” culture Adam says forced him to block out any thoughts about being attracted to men.

“I would purposefully just shut it out and be like, ‘that’s wrong. You shouldn’t be thinking like that, Adam’.” The story is a relatable one to many. The school focused energy onto making the boys do sports, namely football. Those that didn’t play were naturally bullied as being ‘gay’. The term was also used more generally as an insult to describe anyone ‘different’; something I can relate to from my own school days.

Dismissing the insults as “a small thing” Adam adds that his interest in YouTube didn’t help, although he maintains it was just name calling. That can still be effective in forcing someone deeper into a closet.

Between that, growing up in the Catholic, conservative setting of Northern Ireland (gay marriage only became completely equal in 2020) and adding in a lack of visible representation in everyday life, Adam grew up surrounded by toxicity. But now there are Pride parades in his hometown, something he rejoices at. “It’s really nice to see people celebrate and people not being afraid of showing who they are publicly. It’s just showing that love is love. It’s fantastic.”

Adam came out to his family in December 2021. He had been dating his now boyfriend, Dom, since November after the two met in Manchester where Adam was filming his second series as Blue Peter’s 40th presenter and Dom is a student. Adam’s public coming out coincided with his departure from the BBC show, although he stresses there is no connection.

As we talk about what life has been like since coming out just over a month ago Adam says he feels like “a huge weight just lifted off my shoulders,” he recalls “living with a secret,” and grappling with “am I ready to tell it?” But it was “the best thing ever” to come out and to be met with such a positive reaction, especially from his family. All relatable points from a deeply relatable guy.

“Why would it change?” Adam’s parents, Edelle and Paul ask in his video after Adam describes waking up the day after he came out to them and feeling as if nothing had changed. “I honestly don’t know where I would be without my mum and dad and my little brother,” Adam explains. “They’re just the best.”

Another person crucial to getting Adam to this point has been his boyfriend Dom. In a cutesy Q&A shortly after Adam came out the pair recounted their first meeting, swapping numbers, and their first date at the “best Italian restaurant” in the ‘gay capital of the North’ (Piccolino – their words, not mine)

Meeting Dom helped Adam realise he was gay. “The minute I met Dom, I was like, ‘Oh, wow, this is actually real,’ because beforehand it was just a what if of scenario in my brain, like, ‘what if I’m gay? I’m probably not’.”

As well as being able to confide in Dom, the first time he’d had that opportunity to do so, Dom suggested Adam therapy could be a good idea.

“It was the best thing that I’ve ever done,” Adam says. “I keep thanking Dom for making me do that. Chatting to a professional was helpful and it broke down some fears. We talked about internalised homophobia, and things that stopped me from coming out and being comfortable to chat about my sexual orientation. It was quite a relieving experience, just to hear it from a professional. I don’t know where I would be without it and without Dom.”

Adam positively lights up as he talks about Dom. The smile gets bigger, and the eyes appear to have an extra glint to them beyond the usual cheeky one.

Early on in our conversation, Adam says he “had to” come out. Explaining why he says, “I felt like it was going to reach a point where it was going to be inevitable, where me and Dom were seen in public. And I don’t want to be in a relationship where we’re constantly watching our backs. I’d like to be romantic with Dom in public, even if it’s just holding hands. This is my story, and I want to be the author, and I didn’t want anyone else to tell it for me.” He’s kindly letting me tell some of his story.

Adam praises Dom’s patience with him in the months leading up to July. In their Q&A Dom shares that he had not long gone through this experience after coming out to his own parents in the first lockdown.

Adam describes life in the weeks leading up to his public declaration as like being on a seesaw. “One week I’m not coming out, the next week I am, the next I’m not,” This was probably quite emotionally exhausting for Dom, Adam recognises. He also knows how fortunate he is to have that support as well. “He kept my secret. He only told his mum and dad. It was quite hard for him to navigate that from November to July, so I always make sure to remind him how thankful I am to him.

“It would have been very easy for him just to say, ‘You know what, I’m jumping ship. This is too hard. I’m not doing it not for my mental health.’ But he decided to stick with it. And he decided to trust me. That’s the biggest thing I can say thank you to him for.”

Continuing the conversation Adam reflects that he’s lucky to have come out now when there is so much more acceptance of LGBTQ people and identities. We also live in a Heartstopper age. The show, based on Alice Oseman’s YA web-comic has gone global and been celebrated for its portrayal of young queer love and joy.

Many have found themselves relating to the characters and the journeys they go through. Adam is no different. After binging the series he found himself face to face with one of the show’s stars, Kit Connor, who plays Nick Nelson.

“I went up to him, I shook his hand and said, ‘I just want to say a huge thanks because your show helped me come out and this is my boyfriend’. I introduced Dom to him. And he was just over the moon. I don’t think he really realises the effect that he and that show’s had on my life.”

In watching the series together, Adam and Dom found themselves deciding that Adam was Nick and Dom was Charlie, which is “what made it so relatable”.  

“I think Charlie and Nick were texting each other and deleting messages because they didn’t want to say something too romantic near the start. Things like that I really related to, and I’m sure Dom did too. There were so many things that we could tune into and say that we’ve been through together as well.”

“I think it does a really good job for showing that [coming out] journey. Obviously, everyone’s journey is different, and my journey wasn’t identical to Nick’s but it was still really helpful to see it in a TV setting. I loved it. And I hope they’re doing a second series…”

I inform him they’ve already greenlit seasons two and three, which evokes an excitable reaction.

Just as Adam told Kit of his significance to him, Adam gets similar messages. On one video I spot at least one commenter telling Adam he’s inspired them.

“It means more than they probably imagine,” Adam says getting serious again. “I get ones where they say they’ve come out to their mum and dad because they felt like they could after watching my video. And there’s people who’ve messaged me, who aren’t out yet and they’re, like, ‘you’re helping me build up the courage’. It’s really heartwarming that they trust me to share that news before they their close friends and family.”

Adam feels the responsibility. He’s providing representation to a young audience and is no doubt providing hope to some who may not have had much before. Adam has made light of the few negative reactions which have been drowned out in the overwhelmingly positive reaction.

@adambyt Thoughts and prayers to all the fragile childhoods out there 🙏❤️ #foryou #fyp #gay ♬ original sound – Kyle & Jackie O

The only thing Adam says has changed is his and his family’s happiness. A year ago, his head was in a very different place. He may have been in Manchester, a gay haven, but he was still telling himself that liking guys was ‘wrong’.

Thankfully, Adam is in a much better place today. That much is clear to see from the joyful young man in front of me. As we wind down the conversation, he offers some advice for people. The key is talking.

“There is a happier life full of colour, and it’s a life that is so worth living for. It’s something I’m so glad I’ve been able to get to the other side of. Anyone struggling, speak to someone because there’s light on the other side, and life is amazing on the other side. You don’t want to hide anything and it’s fantastic.

Adam has a lot going on. Between his debut book, Adam Wins the Internet out in October, YouTube commitments, and harbouring acting ambitions there’s lots to look forward to. He can do that now as his full and confident self.

The Attitude September/October issue is out now.