Panti Bliss: I’m harassed online by Christians but I’ve given myself to Satan

In a new column for Attitude online, Irish drag queen and activist Panti Bliss talks about one side-effect of being a public, outspoken face in the LGBT community – unrelenting online contact from concerns religious types insisting she turn her back on her wicked ways or spend eternity in the fiery pits of hell…

I blame my hair. Some people just can’t handle that much lustre.

It’s got me into trouble before. One time the fumes from my Ultimate Hold hair spray made my taxi driver woozy and he ran into the car in front. Though it turned out to be a bonding experience and now myself and Hassan have tea together sometimes and I tell him about my exploits and he tells me he’ll pray for me while secretly loving being scandalised. It’s actually the basis for a beautiful friendship because we both get to do what we like best: I get to talk about me, and Hassan gets to pray the gay away.

But I quite like Hassan praying for me because I know he’s doing it because he likes me, even though I tell him he’s wasting his time – I gave myself to Satan long ago after watching Rosemary’s Baby. He’s a very good listener is Satan. The God I grew up with was a terrible listener. He never answered any of my prayers when I was a kid. I prayed every night for a year once and still Alexis Colby-Carrington’s third husband Dex Dexter never came for me and swept me up in his strong Californian arms. But one prayer to Satan, and Geri left the Spice Girls.

However recently, either the Christian God is trying to win me back through some of his most avid followers, or, as I suspect, some Christians of a particular intensity just can’t handle my amazing hair. But neither can they look away.

Because of late it seems I’ve attracted the online attention of Christians. Not the regular Christians, of which there are many among my friends and family and who frankly find me quite annoying and would probably prefer to have less rather than more contact with me. (In fairness, I can be quite boring. I’m a poor conversationalist because of my limited interests, so these days I mostly hang out with teenage girls because they also want to talk about Zayn leaving One Direction) But for whatever reason, of late I’ve found myself on the receiving end of the attentions of Christians who have been contacting me via e mail and Twitter and Facebook.

Panti Bliss on Ireland’s same-sex marriage referendum: ‘We have a lot of work to do’

Most of them are unhappy about my support for marriage equality, some are more generally concerned about my immorality, and a minority just don’t like me. And I mean really really don’t like me! They must have seen my act. The heartening thing though is that my Christian fan base seems to have gone global, because these days I get angry messages from all over the world. Which is surprising, because I’ve never even done a show in Nigeria or Texas so it can’t be my terrible reviews. I guess it’s just the magic of the ever-surprising internet.

I’ve taken to blocking the ones who have a forensic (and remarkably accurate!) interest in the graphic details of my sex life, even though I’m oddly grateful to them because I actually used to think I had a rather pedestrian and lacklustre sex life. When you see it written down in black and white, it gives you a whole new perspective. Turns out I’m a sexual dynamo! Though I can’t take credit for that thing that the gentleman from Glasgow thinks I do because as yet I haven’t had the courage to Google it let alone try and persuade someone to do it to me.

Then there are the messages which warn me that God will punish me in the fires of hell for my many sins, but then finish with a cheery reminder that Jesus loves me. These I take in the spirit they’re intended and I thank them for their concern but assure them that Satan has promised me that Hell has gotten a bad rap and that I’ll be very comfortable there. And anyway, I’m looking forward to meeting Liz Taylor.

And then there are the ones who take enough of an interest in my life and opinions (combined with an enviable amount of free time) to send me numerous messages a day demanding my thoughts on various topics that concern them: a florist who was fined for refusing to supply a gay wedding, a police chaplain who was asked to step aside after writing an anti-gay blog, and many more. Oddly I’ve developed a weird sort of friendship with one of these messengers. She’s a very polite harasser and over the course of our correspondence I’ve gotten to know a little about her life and family. She even takes some of my wise cracks with some humour. At least I think she does – sometimes it’s hard to know if these people are joking or not.

However, while I’m touched by their concern for my eternal soul, and gratified to know my immorality has global reach, on mature reflection I’ve decided to remain committed to perversion and filth. It suits me.

Words by Panti Bliss

Panti’s upcoming shows:

HIGH HEELS IN LOW PLACESSoho Theatre

April 20 – 25
April 29 – May 2

Norfolk & Norwich Festival
May 20/21