Table for Two | ‘I’m trying to weasel my way into his gay book club’

If you’d like to take part in Table for Two simply fill in your details here.

Ian (left) 
Age: 35
Occupation: Global mobility consultant 

Tom (right)
Age: 30
Occupation: PA

What were you hoping to get out of the date?

I: To meet someone interesting who can hold a good conversation. And, of course, find my future ex-boyfriend.

T: To be pushed outside my comfort zone and to meet London’s version of Jake Gyllenhaal. Failing that, a free meal and a giggle.

What were your first impressions?

I: Not my type physically, but by no means an unattractive guy. He was very polite and welcoming, too.

T: Ian was confident and friendly, and he had a good smile.

How different was he to your usual type?

I: I always seem to end up with Italians. He wasn’t Italian.

T: Prettier than my usual type, more preened. He looked immaculate but I tend to go for people a bit rougher (all offence meant to my exes).

Would you have swiped left or right?

I: Left.

T: Right.

How was the conversation and what did you talk about?

I: Great. We had a lot in common. We chatted about his book club and the books we’ve both read recently. Then we spent time trying to spot other people on dates and hypothesised about how theirs were going.

T: Great chat — we talked about Julia Davis, cheese and books.

Photography: Markus Bidaux

What was the most interesting thing about him?

I: That he is part of a gay book club (that I’m trying to weasel my way into).

T: His ability to have three books on the go at once.

What was his best quality?

I: His sense of humour. That’s a quality that I rate very highly.

T: Caustic wit. He was very funny and confident, and that’s something I find incredibly engaging. It felt he knew what he wanted, and where he was going in life.

What did you make of his dress sense?

I: Pleasant — who doesn’t love a billowy shirt?

T: I assumed he had come straight from the Tour de France.

What do you think he thought of you?

I: That I have a good sense of humour.

T: That I’m Alan Partridge Jr.

What were you most worried he would notice about you?

I: That I’m a terrible human being.

T: That I’d spilt water on myself.

How was the food?

I: Tom is a vegetarian but I had the sirloin steak and it was phenomenal.

T: For a meat restaurant, the veggie options were good.

Ian and Tom dined at M Restaurant, Victoria Street, London

Any awkward moments?

I: Only the photo and having to put on my terrible “forced photo smile.” I was actually laughing and smiling until the photographer showed up!

T: The waitress said, “I hope you aren’t a vegetarian.” I am.

Were there any deal-breakers?

I: I knew from the outset that we weren’t a dating match but from a friendship point of view there were no deal breakers.

T: His chapstick addiction. Chapstick to him is like drinking custard to Vanessa Feltz.

How did the night end?

I: We ordered an extra bottle of wine and kept chatting utter nonsense. Tom was kind enough to escort me home and tolerate me taking pictures of gaudy architecture en route.

T: With photos of architecture. He wanted to take some photos of a building opposite the restaurant and then we walked up to the train station. We’d swapped numbers in the restaurant.

What would you have changed about the night?

I: Nothing. I value meeting someone who I can really get along with as a friend.

T: Only receiving one free bottle of wine!

Snog, marry, avoid?

I: Marry — married people don’t have sex anyway. We’d have a great time bickering at a timeshare in Benidorm when we’re 65.

T: None of the above. But I will bring him to my gay book club.

Will you meet again?

I: One hundred per cent. I’d love to hang out again and, as I mentioned, book club…

T: Only as friends…

Rate the date!

Ian: 7/10

Tom: 6/10

If you’d like to take part in Table for Two simply fill in your details here.